The Summer Olympics in Beijing, China have recently got me thinking about, of all things, sports.  I love sports.  I’m one of those guys.  And it’s not just football, baseball, hockey kinds of sports, either.  I find myself getting emotionally involved with handball.  And Women’s Water Polo.  And Badminton.  Badminton, for christ’s sake!  Yep, there’s hardly a sport that I can’t get into.

But I’m not here to talk about me.  I’m here to talk about you.  No, not you, YOU.  Over there with the macramé.  Yeah, you.

Yes, I’m here to address those of you who “don’t like sports”.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with personal preferences, even if they disagree with my own.  (I actually DO think that there’s something wrong with that but allow me to just gloss over that fact for the time being.) My problem, and here is where I offend about half of my best friends, is when someone waves there distaste for sports like a flag.  They wear it like a crown.  They flaunt it like a boa.  They brandish it like a well earned scar.  They, well, you get the idea.  And you know the type, right?  They’re the ones that can easily have the following conversation:

Me:  Wow!  Did you see any of that Super Bowl yesterday?
They:  Super Bowl?  What’s a Super Bowl?  Is that something that you would eat Super Soup from?  Or maybe it’s something that you put your Sugar in?  Or is it that silly game where you roll a ball into some pins?  Haha!
Me:  *blink*
They:  Oh, you guys and your sports.  You think that your sports are SO IMPORTANT.  Ergo, you think that you are so important. 
Me:  Dude, I was just…
They:  I don’t really have time for your silly games.  See, while you were wasting your life, I was busy taking a class in knot tying.  I was doing something socially important.
Me:  Ok, but…
They:  Please.  I don’t really have the time nor the desire to talk about something so incredibly insignificant as a bunch of grown up boys running around in tight clothes chasing after a ball or a stick or whatever.  My life is much more meaningful than that.  Ergo (again with the ‘ergo’!), my life is much more meaningful than yours.  Now do you see how much greater I am than you?
Me:  So, I’ll take that as a “No. I didn’t catch the game”, then?
They:  *Turns nose*
They: *scoffs*
They:  *shows me a Marlinspike Hitch knot*
Me:  *Bows head in shame*

That’s the part that bothers me.  The part where I’m supposed to feel worse about myself because I like to watch something on TV that someone else doesn’t.  I really don’t think that because you don’t like sports, it necessarily makes you somehow better than me.  You truly may absolutely be better than me, but trust me, it’s not because you don’t like sports and I do.  And it’s weird because this type of activity (the superior acting for no good reason) doesn’t happen with anything else that I can think of.  I mean, I don’t see many people walking up to other people and saying

“You actually enjoy reading/writing/photography/pottery making/iron working/knitting?  Man, what a dolt.  I don’t like that thing that you like.  That must mean that you’re stupid.  Haha!  Stupid!”

Yeah, that never happens.  And it shouldn’t.  Like what you like.  I’ll like what I like.  And let’s not try to make each other feel bad for our preferences.  I think that’s fair, don’t you?

Oh, and this really isn’t about anyone in particular (ok, a little bit about my friend Jeff, but shhhhh).  If this particular shoe fits then wear it.  If it doesn’t then I must be talking about someone else. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think that I’m missing the start of the Fencing match between Djibouti and the Republic of Moldova.  Stellar stuff, man!  Stellar!