Well, I guess I just need to come to grips with an unsettling fact. My wife is in love. No, not just with me (which she is and can you blame her?) , but also with another man. You may know this man. This man who goes by the name Jeff Corwin. Yeah, that Jeff Corwin. Jeff Corwin from Animal Planet. I mean, she’s not even trying to hide it from me any more. In fact, she’s practically flaunting it in front of me! Ooh, she squeals, Jeff (she’s on a first name basis with this guy!) is going to be on Hollywood Squares this week! Now, we haven’t watched Hollywood Squares since, oh, I don’t know, since maybe ever ,but now we’ve got a week of this tripe so that we can see Jeff answer two questions a night. Ok, alright, I admit, there are times when I’m caught giggling a bit at his crazy antics, but c’mon already! Enough is enough! I’m considering keeping a bucket of cold water handy every Wednesday night at 09:00. Oh damn! I think I just gave this guy a free plug! Crap! Well, I’m not going to just sit idly by while this nerf herder runs off with my woman. No siree! I’m gonna start studying up on bats and snakes and iguanas and mooses and river otters (rowr!) and elephants and frogs and tigers and all them animal thingys that he seems to know so much about. Then, well then we’ll see who Pat’s animal man is! He wants to take me on, I say Bring It! I’ll let you all know how my cunning plan works in a later post. Till then, wish me luck.

np - Designer Life - Kirsty MacColl

I meant what I said, and I said what I meant
An elephant’s faithful, one hundred percent.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)