I’m not cool.  I have never really been cool.  I’ve been well-liked, appreciated, even loved, but cool?  Nope, not me.  Nowhere is this more evident than in my history of favorite artists.  Walk with me down this musical memory lane and I’ll show you what I mean.

Like dozens of other people, I came to musical awareness in the 70’s, the decade that I still believe produced the best music.  Actually, there’s exhibit number one in my public trial of non-coolyness.  Clearly, to be cool, you absolutely must say (and it helps to actually believe) that the 60’s had the best music.  Buddy Holly, The Beatles, any song from Good Morning Vietnam and so on.  During the 70’s, however, for one to be really cool, one was supposed to listen to and enjoy (or at least pretend to enjoy)artists like Bob Marley, Deep Purple, Iggy Pop and Dr. John.  The really, truly cool kids were becoming even cooler by listening to artists like Thin Lizzy, T Rex, The Clash and Mott the Hoople.  They were becoming the Fonzie’s of their age by jamming to the likes of King Crimson, The Sex Pistols and 10 Years After.  You know.  The cool bands.

Not me.

Nope, while all that was going on I was, apparently, oblivious.  I was bopping along to The Jackson 5, Billy Joel and The Stylistics (who I secretly think were super-cool).  I was into Elton John and ELO and Cat Stevens.  Paul McCartney and Wings?  Loved ‘em.  Fleetwood Mac?  Morning, noon and night!  Oh. and don’t even get me started on the Bee Gees!  I SO wanted to be a Gee!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with these groups, it’s just that they are not cool.  They were all excellent in their way but really, no one ever got extra ‘cool points’ for sitting home alone listening to Carly Simon all night.  Not that I, er, would ever, like, do that.  Or anything.

It’s a sad tear stain on my musical soul that I have never even been cool enough to like the guys that are so completely uncool that they become cool.  You know the type.  Tom Petty, Lyle Lovett, Thomas Dolby.  Nor have I been cool enough to really like the guys that were so overly cool that they became uncool.  Bono, Michael Stipe, The White Stripes, et al.

Now, as I’ve gotten older, I think that I have picked up a few cool artists that I really enjoy listening to.  Artists like John Hiatt, Richard Thompson, Tom Waits and Warren Zevon have entered into my musical domain but even these few have come late to me.  Long after their cool phases have past.  Which, now that I think of it, is sort of cool. 

Hey, maybe there’s hope for me yet.