Gah. I’m feeling kind of ripped off. See, yesterday I had the need to open up a brand new jar of peanut butter, and by “need” I mean that I was chopping up some celery and who can resist celery and peanut butter, right? Can I have an AMEN??! Yayeah!! Anyhoo, I opened up the jar and instead of that old vacuum whoosh and explosion of peanut smell, I was confronted with a WAY-too-hard to remove piece of security cardboard snuggling protectively over the opening to the jar. I struggled for a minute or two to get this barrier of perfection off the jar and, once I had succeeded, tried to take a nice big whiff but the moment had passed. Damn. Are you old enough to remember that peanut butter jar experience? Man, that was a special moment. Kind of like the special moment when you could take deep snorts of the warm and recently mimeographed paper of yore.
But with less falling down.