Buzzstuff

ECF™ - Rough Week Edition

2008-05-09T21:35:00Z

Holy crapshitdamn!! What a week! If you had half the week I had it would mean two things - one) I had twice the week you had and two) your week totally sucked and three) you and I deserve, nay EARNED, an Eye Candy Friday! (Ok, so I’m not so good at counting) So let’s go. Let’s look at some pretty folk, k? We can start right now with (in this order) Nelly, Justin, Milla, Colin, Michelle and Brad. I hope you all have a great weekend. You know you deserve it!

Things that bug the crap out of me - #233

2008-05-05T17:45:00Z

It drives me crazy when people that put the “body” of an email in the Subject line. For Example:

To: Buzz
From: Debbie Ditzy
Subject: When you get a minute, could you come to my desk and help me out with a problem that I’m having with my PC? It was working fine this morning but now? Not so much.
___________________________________________________

Thanks.

Debbie Ditzy
Department of Redundency Department

I love when I’m FINALLY proven right

2008-04-30T12:21:00Z

See? See????? I TOLD you that LSD was bad and would kill you!! Here’s the story of the ”father” of LSD who just died at the tender young age of 102. I’m sure he would have easily lived twice that long if it weren’t for that nasty drug use. Such a pity. Such a waste.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/29/hofmann.obit.ap/index.html

If

2008-04-26T11:17:00Z

This totally cracks me up. If you send something to this guy, please let me know.

I love the smell of meetings in the morning

2008-04-22T10:51:02Z

I just looked at my work calendar for today and this is what I see. I have

an 8:30 - 9:30;
a 10:00 - 11:00;
an 11:00 - 12:00;
a 1:00 - 2:00;
another 1:00 - 2:00;
a 2:00 - 3:00;
a 2:30 - 3:30;
a 3:00 - 3:30;
and I leave at 04:00.

What the hell? Set aside for a moment the unsettling fact that I need to be in two places at one time (a couple of times!), how in the wide wide world of sports am I supposed to get any of my actual work done. I swear, we have all gone meeting crazy! What super super fun!

Oh and while I have at least a little of your attention: Go vote! Seriously. Go vote.

Zoofy?? Is that you?

2008-04-16T18:02:00Z

I just got this picture from a co-worker. I don’t know about you, but this just screams KATHYHOWE!! to me. Am I nuts or can I get an AMEN??

The thought of you sends me shivery

2008-04-14T10:55:00Z

Ok, now listen up, people. You know how you get those annoying songs stuck in your head and you just can’t shake them no matter how hard you try? Well, all morning, I’ve had one of those earworms playing over and over inside my melon except that today’s is a song that I really really like. Today I have ‘L’Amour Looks Something Like You’ by Kate Bush stuck in my noggin. So I’m going to need all of you (yes, Dana, especially you!) to NOT mention any other songs or make any sideways references to any 70’s sitcoms (those songs are the worst offenders!) or, god forbid, walk past me humming some old but uber-catchy litte ditty. Keep your damn dittys to yourself! Got it? Good!

Now then, you may carry on about your business. Nothing more to see here.

Just keep it quiet, k?

Stuff to remember at work

2008-04-11T10:27:01Z

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Oh, and speaking of rabbits....

How did someone stick a Monday into the middle of my week?

2008-04-10T12:20:00Z

Way

too

tired.

*THUD*

Whilsting away the hours

2008-04-09T21:10:00Z

I am going through a ‘study at home’ book and, for whatever reason, the author uses the word ‘whilst’ once every 5th word or so. Now, I myseff have used this word on occasion but generally when I’m just trying to be cute. Or wordsome-full. Or British. But this guy has just gone overboard. He’s got whilsts coming out of his ass! It’s like:

Be sure to hold down the command key whilst clicking on the subject.
This tool can easily be used whilst using another tool of the same class.
The pen can draw a shape whilst filling it with a color at the same time.
I whilsted my whilsty whilst whilsting over by the whilster.

See what I mean? And now I’m pissed because the word whilst has completely lost all meaning. Oh well, I guess that’s whilst for now. I whilst you all later.

Whilst!

Paging Ms. Manners

2008-04-08T10:18:00Z

I am one rude dude. Let me ‘splain. Yesterday morning, I was at work and decided to call my pal, the Meester. I picked up the phone (which is a minor miracle in itself; I don’t really do the phone thing), and dialed his number. The call went something like this:

*chaclick* “Hello?”

“Yo!!! Meester!! Meestaroni! Ma man! Meester Man! Ma main Manster!!! The Mansteroni! How’s it going buddy? It’s the Boozer! What up, like, dawg?”

“Well......”

“Big daddy-o!! How’s work? How’s the Missus? How’s the mini?? How’s it hangin’? haha!! Hangin’. Hoo!”

“Well....”

“Oh crap, dude. I just realized that I have a meeting. Like, now. I’ll have to call you back. Take it easy, bro. Bro-ster! The bro-man! Haha! Later dude!”

“Ummm.....ok then I’ll just......”

*chaclick*

Yeah, I think my social graces and phone skills might need a little buffing up.

ECF™ Classic Style

2008-04-04T21:44:00Z

I was trying to think of who to use for a quick Eye Candy Friday™ before we head out for the evening and I just kept coming up blank. Nothing was really floating my boat, yanno? Then it hit me. If none of today’s stars are fitting the bill, how about a few stars from days gone by? Yeah, perfect. So here you go. A few classic shots of some of my favorite Hollywood legends.

Fay Wray, Steve McQueen, Brigitte Bardot, James Dean, Marilyn (of course) and my all time fave, Cary Grant. Have a nice weekend everyone! Slainte!

There’s something wrong with these cans! He HATES these CANS!

2008-04-03T18:26:00Z

Holy craps, people! I almost got car-clobbered twice today! The first time was in a great big parking lot that happened to be nearly empty. I was backing out of my parking spot when some lunatic driving across the lot (not in the aisles but across the spots themselves) damn near pancaked me. It’s hard to believe that he wasn’t paying attention considering the fact that he was motoring across the lot at about 60 miles an hour! Ok, maybe 30. He had to come to a very abrupt halt to avoid smacking into me. Dang, dude!

The second near miss was on my way home from that parking lot. I was driving down a main(ish) street and some whack job on a side street decided at the last second that he wasn’t going to be able to cut me off and had to slam on his brakes. No matter that he had a stop sign, I suppose. Now, it’s bad enough that I almost got schmeared twice in a period of about four minutes but here’s the REALLY weird part. Both near misses…

...were the same guy!!

This guy must hate me! He looked to be about 70 years old with a Bing Crosby hat and a beat up old Lincoln something-or-other. Isn’t that crazy? What the hell did I ever do to him?

I’m ok now, of course. I’m home, taking it easy. Just relaxin’ and a-chillin’.

In my freakin’ Kevlar vest!

I Lurve Me Some Jasper Fforde

2008-04-02T20:51:00Z

Well, it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like but I managed to finish another book. This one is called ‘The Big Over Easy’ by Jasper Fforde. It was, oddly enough, about the murder of Humpty Dumpty. Yep, that Humpty Dumpty. You know how some writers really make you want to read more? I remember spending tons of time reading all of the Vampire books that Anne Rice wrote and I just couldn’t read them fast enough. I think that the Harry Potter books are the same way. The more you read the more you want to.

It’s a little different with Jasper Fforde, for me anyway. When I read his books, it makes me wish I could write more. His writing style is so smart and witty and silly and easy on the eyes. It’s inspiring. If you are ever in a mood for that sort of thing, I highly recommend starting with his “Thursday Next” series. I think the first one is called ‘The Eyre Affair’. Excellent book. Fun.

And now, as if the last batch of Fforde books weren’t enough, I’m off to read ‘The Fourth Bear’. I’m in my own happy little rut. So sue me.

TV Superstars

2008-04-01T10:53:00Z

Every morning, while I get ready for work, I put on the local morning news. And since I live on the outskirts of Philly, most of the local morning news is about murder and mayhem (and no, I’m not just talking about the Phillies this time). So, I’m watching the boob tube this morning and, sure enough, they start talking about a recent murder or four (might have only been three but who’s really counting at this point?). Then, and this is the best and the worst part all rolled up into one, they do their “man on the street” interview. I swear to god, they must bus these people in. First of all, if you want to be a Philly “man on the street”, I think I can help. First of all, you should know that your chances grow in relation to the number of teeth that you have. The fewer the teeth, the more likely the interview. Simple. Additionally, you stand a much better chance of getting some air time if you say “axe” instead of ask and do a lot of mumbling. If you can make your eyes shake nervously in their sockets, you’re a shoo-in.

Today’s “man on the street” was actually a woman. She was somewhere between 18 and 67 years old (the crack makes it so hard to tell these days) and kept putting an unlit cigarette in her mouth, then taking it out, putting it in, taking it out. She stammered a lot, had about 7 teeth (jolly good job on that one), thought that the suspect seemed “nice” and didn’t actually know anything about anything. Her complete lack of knowledge about the situation leads me to the obvious conclusion that she was interviewed on the basis of looks alone. That’s profiling. And as we all know, profiling is bad.

I think maybe it’s time to turn off the morning TV, put on a little ‘Dusty in Memphis’ and start my day off a little better. What do you think?