I have a post in my head regarding my wife telling you all how brave, wise and all-around great she is.  It will truly be a hell of a post.  This, sadly, is not that post.
I don’t know that I will be able to explain the event that just occurred in our garage but I will try.  We had gone out to Costco to pick up a spiral ham for Easter (mmmm, hamm) and had pulled into our garage and parked.  I hit the button to close the garage door.  Meanwhile, my dainty princess had gone to the back of the van to get the groceries out.  Well there just wasn’t enough room between the opening van hatch and the closing garage door and so Pat ended up bumping into the descending door.  The door, feeling the obstruction, shifted gears and started to rise.  Hello?  Pat is still trapped between the van and the now rising garage door!  When the garage door reached about 4 feet off the floor in it’s slow but steady ascent, the handle of the door hooked into Pat’s bra.  This did not seem to bother the door at all.  It continued to rise, taking Pat with it.  I was just getting to the back of the van when I saw her start to flail as she began to rise into the air.  What did I do?  I freaked the hell out!  That’s what I did!  I jumped over to the door and had to man-handle the damn thing (the door, not Pat) into submission, all the while trying to get my half-screaming/half-hysterically laughing wife unhooked from this monster!  The door gave up the ghost and stopped rising and I finally got Pat unhooked before there was a need for any EMT personnel.  The whole time this was happening she kept saying that she was hoping that her Arizona State t-shirt wasn’t ripping.  She’s a little whacked on priorities sometimes.  Well, the end of the story is a happy one - both the garage door and Pat are doing fine.  No visible trauma to either.  Thank you for staying with this story so long, I know it’s a little long-winded.  I just felt that it was a story that had to be told.

Our grandchildren will be so proud.

People are really weird, aren’t they?  Well, not you and certainly not me, but other people.  You know - the weird ones.  Case in point: Pat and I were at the Dar Williams concert last night (read all about it on her site - she writes much better than I), and the woman in front of us, the first thing she does is put earplugs in her ears.  “Hmmm.  Let’s see.  I’m at a concert, what can I do to make sure that I can’t hear very well.  Oh, I know.  Earplugs!  Yeah!  That’s the ticket.  I’m a goddamn genius!” Then during the warm up band, the Ben Taylor Band (who, to her credit actually were very loud), she grabs her husband’s (I am assuming here) jacket, pulls it over herself, scrunches down in her seat and tries to take a nap.  See, weird.  That’s just what I said.  Then the guy next to her spends 90% of the time during the warm up band’s performance with a finger in each ear.  Nope, I’m not kidding.  He actually sat there with two fingers in his ear like a 4 year old at a parade when the fire engines start blasting their sirens.  I’m thinking that he might have been better served to head up to the lobby where it wasn’t too loud for his delicate drums, but I’m just crazy like that.  THEN, (nope, I’m still not done), then, this scrawny assed slightly underweight ho woman, during the break between bands, while her boyfriend (I’m still assuming) was up in the lobby or the bathroom or wherever, decides to give herself a complete makeover.  COMPLETE!  IN HER SEAT.  Surrounded by people.  Let’s see.  She reapplied her lipstick, using two pencils, she reapplied her foundation, she touched up her blush, she relined her eyes, she curled her eyelashes (no, I’m not kidding) and she did a major hair fluffing.  I was fully expecting her to give herself a bikini wax right there in her seat, but her boyfriend came back and we were spared that horror. 
There were other strange goings-on while we were there but I am sure that you are tired of reading so I will just end with this thought:

Isn’t it great that you and I are perfect?  Hehe.

If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.
John A. Wheeler

I ran across a bunch of quotes from Will Rogers and thought I’d share.

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

I bet you if I had met him [Trotsky] and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn’t like.

I have had cause today to type the word ‘institutional’ about 500 times.  Not only is it an incredibly hard word to type (try it!), but the word has now lost all meaning.

What is the deal with Allen Iverson?  Every year he seems to be in some kind of “situation”.  A non-basketball “situation”.  A negative, non-basketball “situation”.  Now, I’m not the biggest basketball fan in the world (I don’t really like it), but I do like to root for my local teams.  This guy makes it really hard to root for the Sixers.  At least for me.  He has always seemed like a punk to me (don’t tell him I said that, though!  Christ!  He’d so kick my ass!).  He hangs with punks, he talks like a punk...Hey, if it walks like a punk and talks like a punk.....  So now he’s getting shot at by snipers!  Sheesh, what’s next?  We’ll probably find out that he’s been hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction!

Well, in case you care, here’s the story.  Iverson

This is a huge day!  Despite what my wife has said to me all these long months regarding weblogs, and let me quote here so’s I doesn’t get it wrong - “I will never EVER have a weblog!  I would never have anything to say!”, despite that, Pat is now up and running on MoveableType with her own blog.  And man, is it ever awesome!  She is going to (for now anyway) focus her writing on music.  You fine folks should go over and wish her a hearty welcome to the blogosphere.  She can be found at http://empress.buzzstuff.net.  She’s really nice.  Don’t be shy.

On a related note, just in case you didn’t know (and I’m sure you all do), Christine from Big Pink Cookie ROCKS!  I was struggling with Pat’s new site and Christine stepped in and got everything running smoothly.  I was ready to tear my hair out (well, what’s left of it anyway).  I gave her plenty of opportunity to make fun of my ignorance, too.  But did she?  Nope.  Not in front of me anyway (and that’s what I really care about).  She was super nice.  I just can’t say enough about her and all the others at both MoveableType and Blogomania!  Thanks Christine!!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am no PETA member (mmmm...beeef), but this is disgusting!

By the way, don’tcha just love the batchild.  Admit it, you do.  I do too.

My wife wants to start a blog of her own and I told her that I had room on my blogomania server and I could create a new weblog for her in MoveableType.  So, I’m like some kind of super-hero, yes?  No!! I can’t even figure out how to get this new freakin’ weblog running.  I have it so that I can post to it, I just can’t view it.  That’s not good, is it?  I am very frustrated!!!  Damndamndamndamndamn.

CJ, our youngest (17), has this as his “buddy info” on his AIM profile:

...and one day, when canadians rule the world, we’ll all be watching ice hockey and think ‘i wonder how this came aboot...’

He’s a funny guy.