Howard Pyle

Catherine O’Hara

Jean Harlow

For years now I’ve been hearing about, reading about and personally witnessing people going ape crap over the game World of Warcraft.  WoW.  “Oh my god, it’s the greatest!  The coolest!  The ginchiest!!”, I would hear them say.  (Ok, maybe not so much that last one) “Yeah, it’s the greatest thing since sliced milk!” I was strong and never succumbed, however.  First of all, I’m no gamer.  I spend a lot of time on computers but I don’t spend any of that time playing games.  Just not my cup of tea.  Well, that and I totally suck at them.  Then, the other day, I was reading about WoW and all of the fun that it encompassed and it happened.

I drank the kool-aid.

Surely if ten bagrillion people love it, it must be pretty awesome.  So I signed up for the free trial and figured I would give it a good half an hour.  Well, it wasn’t a half an hour, but more like three hours.  And after three hours of shooting and spell casting and running around and chatting people up what did I decide?

OH MY GOD, PLEASE KILL ME!

One of the worst online experiences of my life!  First of all, did I mention three hours?  Yeah, you can really get wrapped up in this game and time just disappears.  That may be fine if you’ve got nothing to do but, damn it, that ‘Holmes on Homes’ episode isn’t going to watch itself, you know.  Next, this game is social.  I mean REALLY social.  And who are you being social with?  About three hundred 12 year olds with foul mouths and an incredibly inflated sense of self.  These kids are awful.  They truly depressed me.  That was actually the worst part of the experience, the fact that when I was done, I was sadder than when I started.  I wasn’t filled with fun and excitement.  No, I was filled with a sense of loneliness and depression.

Awful, just awful.

Now that said, I am clearly not the demographic that they are aiming for.  You, on the other hand, are probably a much better fit.  So go get ‘em, tiger!  Fulfill those quests.  Kill those bad guys.  Frolic with those nymphs.

I’ll just go see if I can rustle up an old copy of Pong somewhere.  That’s about my speed.

Jennifer Jones

Robert Conrad

Ali Larter

Elizabeth Taylor

Hannah Kearney

George Harrison (3 pics for my wife)