First of all, I like Christmas music every bit as much as the next guy - no not that guy, the one next to him - yeah him. And as much as I hate being a spoil sport (and I do), I just gotta tell you all that "Jingle Bells" is an awful song. Just awful! And no, it doesn't matter who does it.

It only took me forty-three years to figure it out, too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to listen to some Peanuts Christmas.

I just got back from doing a little grocery shopping. It wasn't too bad. No more than a million or so people, I would guess. So anyway, I get back, we unload the car, load the fridge, freezer and pantry and I realize that I have to go to the bathroom. I realize within moments of entering the bathroom that, yes indeedy, my zipper is already down. Seemingly all morning it's been that way.

Great.

So if you are wondering what kind of idiot walks obliviously around the store with his pride showing, well, it's me. Hi there. Damn glad to know ya.

I hope you are all doing well this Sunday morning. Here's your Sunday version of Did You Know. Have a great day, folks!

The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home, conceals a billiards room. In Jefferson's day, billiards were illegal in Virginia.

According to Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, it is possible to go slower than light and faster than light, but it is impossible to go at the speed of light.

In most advertisments, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch.

Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of Cher and Sonny Bono.

Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.

Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize *this* was the day of the changeover.

In left hand drive countries, such as the UK, Ireland, Japan, and Australia, drivers sit on the right hand side of the car. Except for Sweden, where drivers sat on the left, as in North-America.

Japan is the third most densely populated country in the world. First is the Netherlands, followed by Belgium.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

Genghis Khan started out life as a goatherd.

Are you guys reading Busy Baby's beautiful blog (holy illiteration, Batman!)? This is about the cutest thing ever! (Sure. I'm secure enough to say something's cute. Wanna make something of it?)

If you're not reading this, well stop whatever you're doing and get over there. It really is precious. (Ok, I know I'm really pushing it with that one. Sorry.)

"Ok, family. I'm going to do something rarely done in this house. I'm running out for doughnuts!" "Woohoo! Yay!!"

That's about when the trouble started.

I looked on MapQuest and found a Dunkin Donuts fairly close. So off I go. I get to the spot where this alleged donut shop lives and I find, of course, a flower shop. Now, I have no problem with flower shops in general, but this was really not what I was hoping to find.

I must have made a wrong turn, I think to myself. So I make a U-bee and head on back from whence I came. Nope. Not a doughnut shop to be found. I finally bite the bullet and head for the one that I knew about originally but didn't want to go to because it was "too far away".

I finally reach my destination, get my Donuts and head on home. I was out for almost an hour!

So, if anyone has some disposable income (or really good credit) and wants to open up a doughnut shop, I have the perfect place. There's not one around here within 100 miles* or so. Sheesh!

* A possible exaggeration

Yep, it's time for another weekend installment of Did You Know. You guys are going to know EVERYTHING eventually!

Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.

Winston Churchill, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt were all cousins through one connection or another. (FDR and Eleanor were about five times removed.)

It takes about 63 feet of wire to make a Slinky.

Each unit on the Richter Scale is equivalent to a power factor of about 32. So a 6 is 32 times more powerful than a 5! Though it goes to 10, 9 is estimated to be the point of total tetonic destruction (2 is the smallest that can be felt unaided.)

The letters "YKK" on zippers stand for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the largest zipper manufacturer in the world.

Cinderella's slippers were originally made out of fur. The story was changed in the 1600s by a translator.

It was the left shoe that Aschenputtel (Cinderella) lost at the stairway, when the prince tried to follow her.

Cinderella is known as Tuhkimo in Finland. Is that right, Kirsi?

The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with, e.g. Asia, Europe.

There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs six times: Indivisibility.

The other day, Pat and I were driving down a long empty road with forest all around us. It was a beautiful area of Pennsylvania. Up ahead of us we saw an animal running across the road. Pat asked "What was that?" Well, without thinking too much, I said "It looked like a monkey."

A monkey.

I did a quick mental scan of my knowledge of Pennsylvania wildlife and decided that no, it was almost certainly not a monkey. So I wisely changed my answer to "Dog".

As we approached the animal, we saw that it was, of course, a red fox. A fox. Not a dog and certainly not a monkey.

I think I need to watch a little more Animal Planet.

Buzz's Animal Refresher Course

Monkey

Dog

Red Fox

I've had the song "Billy, Don't be a Hero" stuck in my head for the past two hours.

Now where did I keep those bullets?

The marching band came down along main street.
The soldier blues fell in behind.
I looked across and there I saw Billy
Waiting to go and join the line.
And with her head upon his shoulder

His young and lovely fiancee.
From where I stood I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say:

Billy don't be a hero
don't be a fool with your life.
Billy don't be a hero "Come back and make me your wife".
And as Billy started to go she said "Keep your pretty head low"
Billy don't be a hero "Come back to me".
Thesoldier blues were trapped on a hillside.
The battle ragin' all around.
The sergeant cried "We've gotta hang on boys

Wegotta hold this piece of ground
I need a volunteer to ride out
And bring us back some extra men."
And Billy's hand was up in a moment
Forgetting all the words she said. She said:

Billy don't be a hero
don't be a fool with your life. . . .
I hard his fiancee got a letter
That told how Billy died that day
The letter said that he was a kero
She should be proud he died that way
I heard she threw fhe letter away.

by Paper Lace

I was thinking this morning how much I miss Ultraman, you know, like ya do, and so I went out to the good ol' internet to find a picture. Well, I was amazed by the abundance of Ultraman information out there! AND it turns out that there were many incarnations of Ultraman. I had no idea.

MY ultraman was the original with Hyata raising his beta capsule and becoming, of course, Ultraman. Great stuff! But there were, like, forty other Ultras! There were even a couple of Ultra-women. Who knew?

So anyway, here are some stats from the original Ultraman.

The original Ultraman... the defender of Earth from the Nebula M78 who merges with Hayata of the Science Patrol.
Ultra Stats
Height: 40 meters
Weight: 35,000 tons
Flight Speed: mach 5
Running Speed: 700 kph
Home Planet: The Land of Light, Nebula M78
Human Form: Hayata
Transformation Item: Beta Capsule

Ultraman originally comes to Earth while pursuing a monster through space, but inadvertently collides into Hayata's plane and kills him. Feeling remorse for the tragedy, the alien decides to save the human by merging their lives. He stays on Earth with Hayata and vows to defend the planet.

Because his energy depletes rapidly in the Earth's atmosphere, Ultraman can stay for only three minutes. The blue Color Timer in the middle of his chest begins beeping and blinking red to let him know that time is running out. Should the timer run out, we are told, Ultraman will never rise again.

I don't normally do the whole "You might be a redneck if.." schtick, but these struck me as pretty ding-dang funny. So, I'll bend the rules a bit (like there are any rules) and tell you that you might just be a redneck if...

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side....

22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart...

23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V...

24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler...

25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...

26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.

27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home...

28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...

29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher

30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hanging?"

31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty...

32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph...

33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is...

34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate...

35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

36. If you don't understand why the first 35 are not funny

Pat has posted some pics of our spread. Apparently, we are having 2483 people over today!!

Yikes!!

Happy Thanksgiving Day, kids. And to those of you not celebrating, Happy November 27th!

May your day be filled with food, fun, family, football and let's not forget the wonderful parades! One of my favorite parts of the day!

Thank you Pat for sharing every Thanksgiving Day (and every day in between) with me. You truly are my Empress.

Thank you JingJangJohnnyJohnsonBoy for making me laugh every day at work.

Thank you KathyHowe for all of the AIM chatting (especially when I’m not there – too funny). You are a remarkable person! I hope we know you forever!

Thank you Judi, for the morning talks. It always helps me wake up with a smile. Oh and thanks for being my secret girlfriend. Shhhh.

Thank you Buddha and Valley for being our friends. You guys are both such a hoot.

Thank you Solonor for keeping my feet on the ground when I was trying to take over the Blogosphere.

Thank you PeteBeck for always giving me cause to smile with your wisecracking comments.

Thank you Erica for keepin’ it real. I WISH I could be half as cool as you!

Thank you Alexia for keeping me amused and entertained with your stories of my buddy, Critter.

Thank you Sonia for educating me on all things British.

Thank you Sarah for all the pictures that you send me. Keep ‘em coming!

Thank you Mac for so many posts! I don't know how you do it! You really do keep us entertained! Oh and of course thanks for spreading the devil hat around the blogosphere. Too cool!!

Thank you Michele for such great writing. You truly are an inspiration.

Thank you Theresa for the Eagles vs. Cowboys conversations. Fun stuff. And someday maybe you'll come over to the light side. We're the good guys, honey.

Thank you BusyMom for the wonderful stories of the Busy Family. I always love to see that you’ve posted!

Thank you Dana for the friendliness and good vibes that you spread everywhere you go. You are so special.

Thank you Cornelia for being my online friend. I feel like I know you in real life! Maybe someday, eh? (Oh and you just gave me my 7,000th comment! Wow!)

Thank you Kathy for all the work you’ve done on my site. You've got some mad skillz! (Ain't I just so ghetto?)

Thank you Yvonne just for being you. And I think we all know what I mean. You are unique and wonderful.

Thank you Cassie-B for raising me right. At least I think so.

Thank you Kat for all the kind words you’ve sent me. You make me blush.

Thank you Natalie for linking me FOREVER! (Remember that?)

Thank you TJ for some of the funniest damn comments ever!

Thank you Sherri for kicking off a flurry of blogospheric gift giving!

Thank you Jennifer for being my partner in knowledge crime.

Thank you Shelli for the This is Your Blog. Fantastic!

Thank you Keith for being my scotch buddy. Aging is a GOOD thing!

Thank you John for the Photoshop’d pics. Wait! Never mind…those were horrible! Hehe.

And thank you to everyone out there who has commented on my site or linked to me and made me feel so welcome in this little community of ours. I would love to thank each and every one of you individually but, seriously!, I have to be back at work in a couple of days! So many of you have been so great to me over the past nine months! I thank you all!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

*sings*

I don't have to work todaaaaayyy.
I don't have to work todaaaaayyy.

Heehee.

*does the "I don't have to work todaaaaaayyy" dance*

We have two cars. It's important that you understand that I said two and not twenty-two. So you would think that with only two cars I could remember where everything is located inside them.

You would be wrong.

I took our van to work today. Pat stayed home and so I left her the Subaru. It was dark when I left this morning so the first thing I did was, of course, turn on the windshield wipers. Huh? What the heck?! How do I turn them off? Oh, here it is. Oops, I just sprayed window cleaner on the windshield! But now, naturally, I've turned off the wipers. D'oh! Ok, wipers on. Good. Clean the windshield. Good. And here are the lights. Finally!

So now I'm off. I go to make my first turn. I put on my blinker. Oops. Nope, I seem to have found the high beams and now I've blinded the oncoming traffic. That's bad, I'm pretty sure. I manage to find the high beam button and dim the lights. Oncoming traffic manages to avoid me, but they are obviously unhappy with me as they are more than happy to demonstrate with various gestures and light flashing. Sorry, guys.

The rest of the trip was, thankfully, uneventful.

The thing is, when I'm in the other car, I make the same damn mistakes! I can never remember which car (there's only two, remember) does what. And god forbid I have to fill the tank. Each vehicle has the gas tank on the opposite side of the other one. Fortunately there are little arrows on the dash telling me which is which or I'd be forever getting it wrong. Unfortunately, I always struggle to find those little arrows.

I'd like to think that everyone is like this but I have a funny feeling that they're not. I'd also like to be able to explain it all away by saying that I'm just getting old but, sadly, I know that I've been this way all my life.

Sheesh! I'm such a mess.

Ok, so who's got the better mug shot? Personally, my money's on Glen although he looks like more of a bad-ass than I'm used to. Michael, on the other hand, has done a much better job with his eyeliner. RRrrowwrr!

I guess you know you've "made it" when you can make news just by ralphing. Pitiful.

NY Post - November 25, 2003 -- YUCCH, she did it again! That's the hot rumor surrounding Britney Spears' visit to Lotus Thursday night - the plucky pop tart supposedly vomited while partying with a passel of pals. Lotus marketing director Wendy Hinton swears it isn't so: "There's no truth to the rumor that she was puking. She was in good form." But it wouldn't be the first time Spears lost her lunch at a chic club. Last January, she was overheard retching in a bathroom stall at Joseph's Café in Hollywood during a wild night of boozing.

Way tired! I guess I'm still wiped from the weekend work events so I'm headin' on up. Hittin' the hay, as it were.

I just want to end the day as I began it, thanking Shelli for the wonderful thing that she did. So awesome! Shelli, as I've mentioned before, was also the very first person ever to link to Buzzstuff. She already held a special place in my heart. This just sealed the deal! Thanks again, Shell. You made my day!

And goodnight to all of you out there. You know I love you all (well, all except that creepy dude over there in the corner).

Sweet dreams, everyone.

To help celebrate the Cowboys win this weekend (8-3 WOW!), I'm posting one of Berkely Breathed's favorite Bloom County strips. Man, I love Opus!

(click to embiggen)

(An oldie but a goodie)

Dear Family and Friends,

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims, and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like.

In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit in a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your brother in the head with warm tasty bread.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Ok, let's spice things up a bit here. I got this great picture of a beautiful bare ass. Wanna see?

Oops. Did I say bare or bear? Sorry 'bout that.

Ok, back me up here. I think that there is just something very disturbing about the way that kangaroos lounge around. It kinda gives me the willies.

Am I wrong?

Holy moly!! I feel like a famous person now! My painfully cool friend, Shelli, over at painfullycool.com/shelli/ has done one of her famous "This is Your Blog" posts about me, the Buzzman. It had to be just a ton of work! I feel humbled and honored. But not so humbled that I won't tell you all to go check it out!

Thanks, Shelli! You totally made my day (maybe even my week!)!

Well, Pat and I are off to NY for another fun-filled weekend of Disaster Recovery Testing for work. What fun!! So, no posting this weekend, kiddios. I will leave you with a few Did You Knows and I will make them all disaster related. Hope you all have a great weekend and I'll talk to you all again on Monday. Later, cats.

The worst industrial disaster in India, occurred in 1984 in Bhopal the capital of Madhya Pradesh. A deadly chemical, methly isocyanate leaked out of the Union Carbide factory killing more than 2500 and leaving thousands sick. In fact the effects of this gas tragedy is being felt even today.

Japan has numerous volcanoes, about two hundred, and many earthquakes. In fact, Japan has about three minor earthquakes every day of the year. Japan does have severe earthquakes too, such as the Great Kanto Earthquake that shook the country in 1923. This historic disaster demolished the cities of Tokyo and Yokohama and more than one hundred and twenty thousand lives were lost at that time. Japan is home to ten percent of the world's active volcanoes.

Top 5 tornado states (based on average number of tornadoes per year 1950-1994): Texas (125), Oklahoma (52), Kansas (48), Florida (46), Nebraska (38)

States with lowest incidence of tornadoes (1950-1994): Alaska (1), Rhode Island (8), Hawaii (28), Vermont (32), Oregon (44)

Hurricanes were first given names in the 19th century by Clement Wragge, an Australian weatherman. He named very violent storms after people he quarreled with. Today an alphabetical list is drawn up each year.

The worst hurricane in history pounded Galveston Island in Texas, on September 8, 1900 and killed 8 thousand residents.

Once generated, a tsunami wave in the open ocean can travel with speeds greater than 500 miles an hour. These waves can travel across the Pacific Ocean in less than one day.

Early in the morning on April 1, 1946, an earthquake with a reported magnitude of 7.1 occurred in the Aleutian Islands off of Alaska. Almost five hours later the largest and most destructive tsunami waves in reported history struck the Hawaiian Islands. Maximum runups were reported to be 54 feet in Molokai, and 55 feet in Pololu Valley on the Big Island. Waves in some areas penetrated more than half a mile inland. Between wave crests, the drawdown is reported to have exposed some areas of the seafloor 500 feet in the seaward direction. A total of 159 tsunami-related fatalities resulted from this destructive event. Many were curious school children who ventured into the exposed reef area, not knowing the receding water to be a sign of an approaching tsunami. No warning was possible nor given for this tsunami.

Can you name this film?

Over dinner tonight, Pat and I got to talkin' about the all-time most played albums in our lives. You know the ones. The ones you have to buy again (and maybe again) because you just plain ol' wore out the originals.

Mine were (and don't laugh):

Harry Nilsson - Nilsson Schmilsson
Carly Simon - No Secrets
Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
ELO - Eldorado
Elton John - Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only the Piano Player
Yes - Close to the Edge (Side One - yes this was on vinyl)

How about you? Got any worn out albums laying around?

This is a little sumpthin' sumpthin for John. Enjoy, buddy.

Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction.
(Petticoat Junction)
Forget about your cares, it is time to relax at the junction.
(Petticoat Junction)

Lotsa curves, you bet. Even more when you get
To the junction, Petticoat Junction.

There's a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the junction.
(Petticoat Junction)
It is run by Kate, come and be her guest at the junction.
(Petticaor Junction)
And that's Uncle Joe, he's a movin' kind of slow at the junction,
Petticoat Junction.

Here's a window for Kem. Hope this helps, my friend.

(P.S. Anyone else stuck at work with no windows may also feel free to gaze out of this one. No charge.)

Empress, JJJJB, Buddha and I all work on a fairly large campus and our buildings have many many windows. Well, right now there are these guys outside with long soapy window brushes and squeegees. They do a great job.

The strange thing is, these guys are now cleaning the windows that are next to us for the fourth time in four days.

Umm, fellas? I think they're clean. Move on.

Why do I get the feeling that these guys are being paid by the hour?

Woohoo! My wife has a migraine!

Wait, that sounded insensitive. Please, let me explain. I actually feel terrible that Pat has a migraine. I really do. However, when Pat gets a migraine, the one thing that can almost always fix it is champagne. She found this out by accident a couple of years ago, but it is amazingly consistent.

So off to the liquor store we go and, since I don't want her to have to drink champagne all by her lonesome, we always get two bottles. At least.

So when Pat has a migraine, although that is a terrible thing, I usually get to drink champagne. Like now.

So bottoms up folks. And go over and tell Pat that you want her to feel better. 'Cause I know you do. Don't you?

I think this year, I must have missed it by just this much.

NEW YORK (AP) - People magazine has named Johnny Depp the "Sexiest Man Alive 2003," saying the actor, known for his "brooding eccentricities," has mellowed since becoming a father.

Depp, star of this year's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," has two young children with his girlfriend, French actress and pop singer Vanessa Paradis.

"Because he arrived at his new, happy place without selling out, without becoming slick or packaged or politically correct, he is a hero to his fans and an idol to his young co-stars," People says in its Dec. 1 issue.

The 40-year-old actor is known for hiding under layers of hats and blankets in his private life and behind oddball characters in his films, the magazine said. "But he is finally coming to terms with his own charisma..."

Depp also has starred in "Edward Scissorhands,""What's Eating Gilbert Grape,""Sleepy Hollow" and "Chocolat." His upcoming movies include "J.M. Barrie's Neverland."

People also picked its Top 10 sexiest men: Brad Pitt, Ashton Kutcher, George Clooney, Lenny Kravitz, Justin Timberlake, Hugh Grant, Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Denzel Washington and Colin Farrell.

Ok, I have found out that Judi just hates the Olsen twins, which is what I presented as the "Good" benchmark. So I promised her I would try to find new twins for her to compare. Here goes:

You could go for the Sistah, Sistah look (Tia and Tam Mowry):

Or you could go with the politically famous (Jenna and Barbara):

Or perhaps a sleek sexy look (The Dahm Sisters) - Oops, Triplets. Sorry!

How about beautiful and slightly controversial (Nicki and Paris Hilton):

Ok, this last one I can't really recommend but, for the sake of fairness, I will throw it out there. Perhaps the most famous twins of all.

Any MTers out there ever have this problem? When I go to upload a pic, say a funny twins pic for Judi or a Britney Spears pic for Buddha or a Kate Bush pic for Pat or....well, you get the idea, I no longer have the option to thumbnail it. The sizing boxes have up and disappeared! Anybody else ever have this problem and have a nice easy way to fix it?

It's quite a bother.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the winners from the losers.

Case in point:

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A vodka-drinking competition in a southern Russian town ended in tragedy with the winner dead and several runners-up in intensive care.
"The competition lasted 30, perhaps 40 minutes and the winner downed three half-liter bottles. He was taken home by taxi but died within 20 minutes," said Roman Popov, a prosecutor pursuing the case in the town of Volgodonsk.

"Five contestants ended up in intensive care. Those not in hospital turned up the next day, ostensibly for another drink."

Popov said the director of the shop organizing this month's contest had been charged with manslaughter. He had offered 10 liters of vodka to the competitor drinking the most in the shortest time.

Russians drink the equivalent of 15 liters of pure alcohol per head annually, one of the highest rates in the world. Some experts estimate one in seven Russians is an alcoholic.

Judi, I've been thinking about the wonderful twins that you are getting ready to bring into the world and I thought I would shoot you some free advice. There's a couple of ways you could go when raising these girls. A good way and a bad way.

The good way - multi-bajillionaire lovely lasses that exude girl next door class and charm that can take care of you when you reach your golden years, i.e. The Olsen Twins

The Bad - Drug addicted, eating disordered skanky strange-o's that will sap you of all your strength, money and dignity, i.e. The Barbi Twins

I believe the choice is simple. Go with the good. Hope this helps.

I’m sitting here at work groovin’ to my iTunes and something occurs to me. I am completely chagrined by how much I like the Red Hot Chili Peppers! This is not my style, man! They are too, umm, well I’m not sure what, but too something, that's fer shur. And I yet I really like their music.

A lot.

Damn!

Well, look who's shown up here at Buzzstuff. It's been a while, darlin'. Nice to see you again.

(Ok, I don't really know Kate Hudson, but I'm sure that if she got to know me, she and I would get along famously and she would just love to pay off my mortgage. I just know it!)

I shudder to think what this may be about. Please don't let me see them confiscating computers.

Authorities search Michael Jackson's ranch

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Investigators from the Santa Barbara County District Attorney's Office and Sheriff's Department searched entertainer Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch on Wednesday as part of an "ongoing criminal investigation," a spokesman said.

The search warrant was served at 8:30 a.m. (11:30 a.m. ET), said Chris Pappas, a spokesman for the sheriff's department.

A source close to Jackson said the singer was not at or near the ranch, but was in the country. The execution of the search warrant came as a "total surprise," the source said.

No details were released about what sparked the criminal investigation.

From David Letterman's Top Ten:

Top Ten Good Things About Finding a Condom In Your Clam Chowder

10. Only slightly more rubbery and unappealing than clams

9. It's better than finding a clam in your condom

8. Provides 35% of the recommended daily allowance of latex

7. You can use it to take home any clam chowder you don't finish

6. Ever eat Cracker Jacks? Well, think of it as a prize

5. It made the Band-Aid salad look like a gourmet meal

4. Does the phrase "damages for emotional pain and suffering" ring a bell?"

3. Mmm Mmm Ribbed!

2. For Bill Clinton, it's one-stop shopping

1. It's a lot better than not finding it

Yesterday, several of my work mates and I sat around and discussed the games that we used to play when we were children. We talked about four square (about 1/2 of us remembered that game), dodge ball (kids can't play that anymore - could get sued) and marbles (I was kick-ass in marbles). We talked about kickball games, double dutch jump ropers and Jacks. Flashlight tag, statue tag and even belt tag (that one was a little bizarre). Everything after school was outside. "Can I go outside, Ma?" "Okay, but come in when the street lights come on. I mean it this time!!" "Ok Ma. See ya."

We all felt that kids just don't do this kind of thing anymore. Now they have their computer games, DVDs and portable MP3 players. Do kids play outside any more?

We also felt that it was a shame that kids don't play like we used to, but that they would all argue that we were the ones that had it bad. We didn't have all of the ultra-cool gadgets that kids have today. "No DVDs? Not even VHS?" *gasp* "No computer? What the heck did we do all day, then?" "You listened to transistor AM radios. Sweet Jebus!"

What do you think? Do kids today have it that much better than the kids of yesteryear?

Know what I miss? Misfits of Science. That's what. Remember that show? 1985, I think. I loved that show. Sadly, anytime I "love that show" it usually signals its demise and this was no exception. This one starred Dean Paul Martin, son of oh-so-laid-back Dean Martin and a very young Courteney Cox. I was just sure that one day, I would marry her. (I never did)

Anyway, I really did like this show.

If you've got a minute, please go help JJJJB out. My man has got a real dilemma!

Man! I sure miss Laura.

Pat was just talking to me about some folks at work and she used the word eviscerate. Eviscerate! She said that she was going to eviscerate someone! And she used this word in passing conversation. I wasn't sure what it meant so I (secretly) looked it up (in the middle of our conversation). After reading the definition, I decided that it was best not to piss her off today.

e·vis·cer·ate

1) To remove the entrails of; disembowel.

2)To take away a vital or essential part of: a compromise that eviscerated the proposed bill.

3) To remove the contents of (an organ).

4) To remove an organ, such as an eye, from (a patient).

Is there anything worse than Philadelphia local news? I watch this stuff every morning before I go to work for weather and traffic and such, and it's so damn depressing. Every single night there are fires and shootings and theft and, well, you pretty much name it and it happened in Philly overnight.

There was a shooting death last night at a "bar" last night that is situated in a dark alley, has an unpainted plywood door, graffiti all over the walls, no windows, and a hand painted sign that says "BAR". A shooting? There? Man, I never would have suspected that anything untoward would happen in a fine establishment such as that.

Watching the morning local news, one gets the feeling that we are truly in a decaying society. I mean, Rome fell, right?

Alright! This is just ri-dogdamn-diculous! Look people - TV people to be precise - when I'm trying to watch two different shows at the same time, say a football game and a NASCAR race, please have the courtesy, and common decency I might add, to stagger your commercials! I can't tell you how many times I would switch from one to the other today and both events were in commercial!

I mean, seriously!! Where the hell are we, the Ukraine??

(Again, with most sincere apologies to any of you actually living in the Ukraine. I'm sure it's lovely this time of year.)

Ok, I'm starting to feel a little better today so we're back to our regular weekend did you knows. For example, did you know that:

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Nauru is the only country in the world with no official capital. (Its government offices are all in Yaren District, but there's no official capital.)

South Africa is the only country with three official capitals: Pretoria, Cape Town, and Bloemfontein.

Lucy Ricardo's maiden name was McGillicudy.

The red giant star Betelgeuse has a diameter larger than that of the Earth's orbit around the sun.

The longest muscle name is the "levator labii superioris alaeque nasi" and Elvis popularized it with his lip motions.

The longest time someone has typed on a typewriter continuously is 264 hrs., set by Violet Gibson Burns.

There was once a town named "6" in West Virginia.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

The oldest word in the English language is "town".

The sea wasp is half an inch long at best and more poisonous than any other jellyfish known to man.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Gerald Ford pardoned Robert E. Lee posthumously of all crimes of treason.

The band Duran Duran got their name from an astronaut in the 1968 Jane Fonda movie Barbarella played by the same guy who played the matchmaker in the movie The Matchmaker, Milo O'Shea who is two years older than Pat's parents.

After human death, post-mortem rigidity starts in the head and travels to the feet, and leaves the same way it came -- head to toe.

Okay. Well, I don't know if it's art, but to each his own, I suppose.

REUTERS/ David Bebber
Performance artist Mark McGowan performs his artwork entitled 'Sausage, Chips and Beans' at the House Gallery, London on Friday. McGowan intends to spend 100 hours sitting in the bath of baked beans with sausages strapped to his head and two chips stuck up his nose in support of the traditional fried breakfast which he views as an important part of British culture.

Seeing as how I'm still feeling crappy, I decided today's "Did You Know" would all be related to health. So, here goes:

The common cold is caused by over 100 different viruses, and you need only be exposed to one of the viruses to contract the cold.

Bacteria living in our intestines "munch" our leftovers that we are unable to digest and about 50% off our "poop" is composed of these bacteria.

While the word malaria means "bad air", the disease is actually caused by a parasite which is spread through the saliva from female mosquitoes when they bite their victim (only the females bite). Malaria is still one of the world's biggest killers.

We lose between 30,000-40,000 skin cells every minute, our bodies generate a whole new layer of skin each month, and we shed about 20 kg (44 pounds) of skin in a lifetime.

The hypodermic syringe was first created and used in 1713 by Dominique Anel, a French surgeon.

In Babylonia, doctors were regulated by a law known as the "Hammurabi Code" and could charge for an operation which saved someone's life, but had their hand cut off if the patient died.

Although we usually recover from strep throat, caused by Streptococcus pyogenes, the body's immune response to the bacteria may cause damage to heart valves known as rheumatic fever.

Osteoporosis is often called the "silent disease" because bone loss occurs without symptoms. People may not even know that they have osteoporosis until their bones become so weak that a sudden strain, bump, or fall causes a fracture or a vertebra to slip.

Achhooo!! *sniffle*

'scuse me.

(This pictures gives a good representation of why I am working from home today)

Ok, the day has come. You all knew it was right around the corner, but you lived in denial. The day of reckoning is upon us. I am here to announce that Verizon's "Can you hear me now" guy has got to go. Enough is enough, people. Good lord. And you know what? I think he'd agree. His heart isn't in it, you can tell. He's all like "Can you hear me now? Whatever." and that just ain't right.

The Sprint guy with the long coat, however, can stay. I'm not yet tired of him. But he's on thin ice.

I guess you've all heard about the infamous Paris Hilton sex tapes floating around the internet, right? Well, I managed to get a vidcap of the video so here's a sneak peek.

Frankly, I don't see the big deal.

I think we can safely call that a "FAIL".

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - A 69-year-old woman crashed her car into the Department of Motor Vehicles building where she intended to renew her driver's license.

Denise G. Butterfield said she was pulling into a handicapped parking space when her car suddenly jumped the curb and smacked into the front of the building Thursday.

The car narrowly missed two people sitting on a bench, but nobody was injured. Damage to the building and car was minor.

"I never hit the accelerator," Butterfield insisted. "The gas engaged itself."

A police officer who did a quick check the car said everything seemed to be working properly. Butterfield was issued a ticket for careless driving.

Because of the accident, department officials made Butterfield take a new written and behind-the-wheel test.

"It's better to be safe than sorry," said Mary Lyn Dance, an examiner at the driver's license office.

Well, it seems that my ill feelings have gathered themselves into a cohesive bunch and I believe that I simply have an uncommon common cold. Blech! Sore throat, freezing in a warm house, you know, that old chestnut.

I went out and did a damage assessment on the house this morning. We have lost or are in the process of losing several pieces of siding but we still have power and haven't lost any trees so things could certainly be worse.

Thank you to everyone who left me a cheery comment last night. It really did help. And to pay you back in a small way, I will give you this song this morning. I don't think anyone can listen to it without smiling (no, don't try. you could hurt yourself).

(Right click and save please)
Something Good

Well, this day turned out as bleh as it started. Worse actually. Meetings all day, still fighting a headache, getting a real sore throat and, to top it all off, pieces of our house (siding) have seem to blown away in the tremendous winds we've been having all day. Crap! Who even fixes that kind of thing?

So help me out here, folks. Tell me a joke. Give me a funny site to check out. Tell me a nice heartwarming story. Help cheer a fella up, won'tcha? You know I'd do it for you.

(Yeah, I'm beggin'. Pitiful, ain't it?)

I am totally "meeting man" today at work! Barely a minute to spare. I can share this with you quickly though. Someone sent me an e-mail explaining to me what men are like. Good thing, too, cause I just wasn't sure.

Men are like....... Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.......Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.......Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.......Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night.

Men are like.......Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.......Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like.......Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like.......Copiers. You need them for reproduction but that's about it.

Men are like.......Curling Irons. They're always hot and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.......Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like.......High Heels They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.......Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.......Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.......Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

I put everything that I want to do today (work, ideas, choices, interests, etc.) and put them all in a box so that I could easily gather them together. Then I took this picture of the box.

Yep. It's empty.

I have no interest in today. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to blog. I don't even really want to play. I'm thinking that maybe just sitting and staring blankly into space would fit the bill.

Unfortunately, the world calls and, like we all do, I answer. So, Hi Ho Hi Ho, it's off to work I go. Maybe I'll find some drive there.

Then again, maybe not.

Bleh.

Ok, I'm tired and have been suffering through a terrific headache for most of the day so I'm heading on up to bed. You folks have a nice evening and sleep well.

I'm gonna leave you with one more joke for the day. Adios, my friends.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."'

Ok, what’s the deal with hair coloring? It seems that almost every woman I know colors her hair. “Let it go natural”, I say. “Shut the hell up and get out of my bathroom, ya freak!” is usually the response.

My wife, Pat, used to color her hair. For years and years she colored it. She knew that she was starting to see those nefarious grey roots and, like a lot of other people, decided that she wanted no part of that so off to the salon she would go.

Well, one fine day, several years ago, I guess she decided that she’d had enough and she let her natural hair color come shining through. My wife has a lot of grey hair! It’s actually kinda silvery. Well, she let it grow out and let it grow long. Since she did that, I can’t tell you how many people, perfect strangers mind you, have approached her to tell her how beautiful her hair is. And they’re right. It’s gorgeous.

So how about it? If you color your hair, would you ever consider stopping?

I was cleaning out some old e-mails and ran across this joke. Again, you know how I love to share.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

Just got this from my buddy Beavis and thought I'd share.

Dear Dogs and Cats, when I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Canine/feline attendance has never been necessary.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture..

3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

Hey! Pat's having a little cartoon day over on her site. If you have a couple of minutes and want a chuckle or two, go check it out.

(And while you're there, why not show her a little linky-lovin? C'mon people, she's a great gal. I swear it.)

Have you guys seen this new cleaning tool from Dawn? I saw a commercial for it the other day and meant to post about it but forgot until my friend Sarah over at smgweb reminded me when she posted about it.

While I'm sure it does a simply fabulous job on your dishes, it looks like something you might buy at your friendly neighborhood adult toy store, doesn't it? It even has a rotating bristle head, for the love of petebeck!

And don't try telling me that I'm the only one that thought this!

I'm not the only one that thought this.....am I?

Well, I chose my person to 'pay it forward' to. I bought them a couple of nice things (I think). I looked through many a wish list today and I found out a couple of things.

1) I truly wish that I had more money to spend on you folks. So many of you have such great things on your wishlists that I wanted to buy for you.

2) I don't know when I've had a better time than looking at your wishlists with the sole intention of buying something for someone I hardly know. It made me giddy. (Don't tell anyone that I used the word giddy please).

3) I was only able to buy something for one person. Maybe. I'm going to keep checking things out and may end up sending one more person a gift or two.

4) I'm getting all giddy again just thinking about it. (Please see #2 regarding the use of the word giddy)

5) If you receive something from me and have a few bucks to spare, please pay it forward and buy a little sumpthin sumpthin for someone that inspires, excites, entertains or otherwise floats your boat. Believe me, you will feel fantastic doing it. I know I did.

That's it for tonight. Peace out, my friends.

And, as always, I love you.

In keeping with the 80's bad TV theme, I give you another extremely popular show that was just god-awful. This show was basically the same show as Airwolf, just with a talking car instead of a helicopter. I know you all remember this one, right? Hasselhoff in his big-haired, pre Babe-Watch days. Oddly, this show was, and maybe still is, huge in Germany. Go figure.

Ok, I've sorta been picking on 80's music and that's just not fair. To be totally fair, 80's TV was just as bad.

Here's one of the popular shows that was truly awful. Do you guys remember this one?

For Keith:

One of the greatest girl bands of all time:

Bananarama!

I've seen some bloggers get gifts from their wishlist from readers and have always thought that that was really nice. What a wonderful way to show appreciation. I never imagined that I would be a recipient of something like that.

Wrong again, Buzz.

I got home yesterday afternoon and found a copy of Holidays on Ice, by David Sedaris, waiting for me. "What the...?", I asked myself. Well upon opening it up, I found a very nice note from a very nice person. It was from Sherri over at formyselfandothers. How cool is that?

"So now what?", I asked again of myself. "Get off my freakin' back!", I replied, obviously bothered by my constant badgering of myself. "A-ha!", I thought quietly to myself so as not to perturb me any further, "I will put my money where my mouth is and pay it forward".

So that's what I'm going to do. Today, someone on my blogroll gets a gift from their wishlist from the Buzzman. No no, quit yer begging. I'm picking this one out myself. And maybe we can start a chain of gift giving that will circumnavigate the entire blogisphere. A sort of a pre-holiday wish list chain of love and admiration.

Or maybe I'll get something for someone and it stops there. At least I'll have given it a shot, eh?

So here we go. Who's it to be?

And Sherri, thanks again. You truly made my day!

Ok, you guys didn't seem too hep (is that even a word?) on my Ace of Base rememorization (huh?), so how about these folks? Surely you miss these guys.

Kim Wilde?

No? Ok, how about a-ha? Surely you miss them! You know "Take on Me", "The Sun Always Shines on TV"??

Still nothing, huh? Ok, here's the one. I know that you guys miss these fine fellas. Now don't be too shyee-shy, hush hush, eye to eye! Please put your hands together for

KAJAGOOGOO!! Yaaayyyy!!!

Umm, hello? Is this thing on? Can you hear me in the back?

I decided to go take a look at how our stock is doing. Uh huh. Ok, I see. Riiiight. Alrighty then. I don't want to sound overly glum but I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that I will have to work until the age of 119.5, at which point I can, thankfully, retire.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to throw up.

Thanks to my friend Cindy for shooting this over to me (yes, she's very disturbed, but we all love her):

"Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked"

10. No one ever steals your chair.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came
to work late.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen
where you keep them.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy programmer guys next door from
looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person
in Human Resources.

2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation
to work on your tan.

And...the Number One reason to go to work naked :

1. The boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in
here by 8:00!" ever again.

I awoke this morning having just had a vivid dream (which I, of course, cannot remember at all) and I wondered if it was in color. You know, how everyone always asks "Do you dream in color?" and you're much cooler if you say "Of course I do. Don't you?"

Well, I feel like I dream in color, but I'm not sure. I mean, maybe I'm dreaming that I dream in color. But if I'm dreaming that I'm dreaming in color, wouldn't that mean that I am dreaming in color at some level?

Ouch. I just hurt my brain. Too early to thinking of this nonsense.

You folks have yourselves a terrific Monday. I'll see ya 'round the 'sphere.

Ok, folks. The Dallas Cowboys are now 7-2. Are you ready to believe yet? C'mon! You know you want to! Join us. Jump on our bandwagon. There's free snacks and beer!

As a friend of mine at work said to me the other day:

Why not the Cowboys?

Good morning, everyone. I hope you all slept well. Here's a little 'Did You Know' (plus a treat) to get your day started.

A full seven percent of the entire Irish barley crop goes to the production of Guinness beer.

Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.

If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

The airport in La Paz, Bolivia is the world's highest airport.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.

The original copy of the Declaration of Independence is lost. The copy in Washington D.C. is what is referred to as a holograph. That is a term for a handmade copy of a document and is not the same as a laser produced hologram.

Singapore is the only country with one train station.

In the movie "the Right Stuff" there is a scene where a government recruiter for the Mercury astronaut program (played by Jeff Goldblum) is in a bar at Muroc Dry Lake, California. His partner suggests Chuck Yeager as a good astronaut candidate. Jeff proceeds to badmouth Yeager claiming they need someone who went to college. During the conversation the real Chuck Yeager is playing a bartender who is standing behind the recruiters eavesdropping. General Yeager is listed low in the movie credits as 'Fred.'

And here's a little something for J-Mo:

(Right click and save please)
Ace of Base - The Sign

You know who I miss? Ace of base.

And I know you do, too!

Ok, I've been kinda sorta watching the moon over the past half hour or so (I can actually see it from our office window) and it's actually pretty cool. Tonight is a lunar eclipse and it has begun.

I don't know if we are on the "edge" of the shadow or not, but I was just outside making hand-shadow puppets and I think I saw one of my "alligator/rabbit/elephant hand shadows eating the Sea of Tranquility! Then I tried to do a "Lincoln" but it didn't work out so well. I think the moon craters were throwing it off. Great stuff!

If you've got a couple of minutes, go check it out. It just doesn't happen everyday.

Well that last post got me thinking about phrase origins so I looked up another one to share with you fine folks. I wondered about the origin of the phrase "living the life of Riley"? Here's what I found out.

It is said that this expression originated in the 1880s from a song called, "Is that Mr. Reilly?". The song contained lyrics such as "a hundred a day would be my pay", and other comedic speculation about what "Mr. Reilly" would do if he were to become wealthy. The earliest recorded citation for "life of Reilly", however, is in 1919, where the "life of Reilly" is referred to in another song, "...but I'm living the life of Reilly just the same..."

As some of you may have started noticing, weekends around here at Buzzstuff are all about learning new and exciting, albeit useless, information. My friend Jennifer sent me on a quest to find out the origin of the phrase "The Bee's Knees". Hmmm. Excellent question. Here's what I found out.

Bees carry pollen back to the hive in sacs on their legs. The allusion is to the concentrated goodness to be found around the bee's knee.

Sweet! So when someone says that you are the "bee's knees", they are saying that you are a sac of concentrated goodness.

And it doesn't get much better than that, does it?

Have a great weekend everyone.

We're going to a wedding tonight. The bride and the bridesmaids are some of the most attractive people you will ever meet outside a Playboy magazine. They really are "the beautiful people". So what are they doing today prior to the wedding?

Why, they're off spending big bucks to have people make them look totally different, of course.

This is something that I do not understand and cannot condone. Why go spend a ton of dough getting your hair all curly-queued and your face painted in a fashion that you would never do yourself? You are already beautiful and we all know what you look like! Don't go mucking it up, ferchrissake!

But, everyone does it so I must be in the vast minority on this subject. How about you? When you go out to a fancy-schmancy event do you go to lengths to change your appearance? If so, why?

I'm bouncing around to all of the links that everyone "blogged forward" and I'm just dumbfounded! There are SO MANY great sites out there!! How to keep up? I think it's impossible. You people humble me!

You are all so awesome. Talent abounds!

Ok, I guess I better pony up with my 'Blog it Forward' picks this month. Hmmm, let me see. So many to choose from. Some great long time reads and some fabulous new finds. What to do, what to do? I think I'll just spin the big blog wheel and see what comes up. Here we go.....Ziiiiiiinnnnnnggggg...clickclickclick click click click click click!

Ok, our first pick of the month is Judi!! You all know her, right? From dilluzionz of judi II? Judi has been entertaining me for quite some time now (not like that, you pervs!). I feel close to her, you know, like a friend. She's a special person and has a great site. Luv ya, gal!

Ok, another spin. Here we go....Ziiiiiiinnnnnnggggg...clickclickclick click click click click click!

And our second pick of the night is Yvonne! Oh man, I KNOW you guys know this babe! Yvonne from Aged and Confused! Yvonne is the kinda gal who lays it out on the line. You gotta love that. She can't color worth crap, but I have never held that against her. I wish I lived closer to her so we could go pour our hearts out over a couple of beers every once in a while.

Ok, one more spin. Here we go......Ziiiiiiinnnnnnggggg...clickclickclick click click click click click!

Oh cool! It's Jennifer from SkurdyCat! I love this gal! She has been my co-conspirator on all of my weekend "did you knows". She is truly a fount of useless information. She is one of my youngest, and yet wisest, readers. Keep on keepin' on, girlfriend!

So that's it for this month. Please go visit my BiF picks when you get a chance. All three of them are just super people! Hey, would I lie to you?

Thank you to everyone that played along today. I really appreciate it and I hope you had some fun, too.

I love you all.

Peace out.

Well it's that time of the month again. No not THAT time of the month, silly. Well, actually, I guess it might be THAT time of the month but that's not what I'm talking about. What the hell am I talking about? You guessed it. It's time for another

Blog it Forward Day!

You guys up for this today? The rules are simple. You simply pick someone off of your blogroll (or link list) and tell us why they are link-worthy (alright, you can pick more than one if you must). It's a great chance to spotlight someone who just isn't getting the recognition they deserve. Or maybe you'd like to tell us about a fantastic writer that gives you pause every day. Maybe you just want to point out someone who makes you laugh every day. There might even be someone out there who has changed your life.

So come on. Let's see those spotlighted sites. It just takes a minute or two. Make someone feel good. Let 'em know you appreciate them. I can't tell you how many great sites I found last time we did this just from bouncing from one link to another. It was totally faboo!

Plus, you never know when you might just see your own name out there on someone's site. And we all love that, right?

Know what's odd? They don't make 'Life' magazine anymore. Nope. Just special editions. "Life - 100 Photographs". "Life - In Hollywood". "Life - Mobsters and Gangsters". That kind of stuff.

I never realized that they stopped being a monthly magazine until just recently. They shut it down in 1999. Did you know that? Sucks, too. I used to love that mag. And I would like to have it back.

Any of you got any pull with the Life magazine people? Could you let 'em know that Buzz wants his "Life" back?

Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Looks like PETA might be playing a little rougher these days!

Dog Shoots Man

PARIS (Reuters) - A French hunter was shot by his dog after he left a loaded shotgun in the boot of his car with two dogs and one of the animals accidentally stepped on the trigger, police say.

The man, from the village of Espelette in the Basque region, was admitted to hospital in the nearby town of Bayonne on Monday with leadshot injuries to the hip.

"As he was driving along, one of his dogs accidentally set off the gun," a police official said on Wednesday.

With apologies to all of my blonde readers:

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate, and then ..." he sighed:

"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Instead of a hard desk with a portable pad for my mouse, I think I'd rather have a desk made of mouse pad material and a portable hard surface if I need to write anything. My mouse keeps sliding off of my mousepad!

So if one of you fine folks could invent that for me, I'd be much obliged.

I don't know what gods or goddesses professional football players pray to, but something has me confused. Every time a player scores, he looks to the heavens and thanks his own particular deity. What is that? Are they implying that god helped them score? Because if so, that would also imply that god made the other player/team fail. Is that really what their god is all about? If one team can praise god for a victory then I guess the other team could rightfully blame god for a defeat, right?

I think that if there's some almighty power sitting in the heavens, she's probably got better things to do than worry whether or not Jerry Rice scores a touchdown or Bruce Smith gets the all-time sack record. I'm sure he doesn't spend his Monday night's cheering the Packers past the Vikings.

"Poverty, you say? War? Natural disasters? Bah! I'll get to that stuff during the commercial!"

Oh, and don't even get me started about praying to win the lottery!

Ok everyone, and yes, I'm even talking to you lurkers out there. I know you're out there, I can hear you typing!

I've fessed up about John Denver and Neil Diamond so now it's your turn. That's right, it's time to play:

Come Clean Tuesday

So let's hear it. What are your guilty pleasures? What show do you secretly watch in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping? What singer do you crank up and sing along with as long as nobody's with you (and the car windows are rolled up)? What movie do you love even though your schoolchums would pound you if they found out?

Come on. It's time to come clean. Whatcha got?

One rule: If it has anything to do with ladies undergarments, we'd all rather if you just kept that to yourself, thankyouverymuch!

I am working from home today, so I have the opportunity to have music blasting behind me all day (not Enya this time). I have our 200 CD changer on random so the machine is picking out what it wants to play for me today. So far it's been doing a nice job, but it seems to be in a real John Denver mood. Now, it's not like we have a lot of John Denver albums (1 or 2, I think) but I think I've heard about 6 JD songs today.

And I know this is totally un-cool to say, but, I'm liking it. Hey, that felt pretty good. I feel like I'm in some sort of JD Support group.

"Hi. My name's Buzz and I....I.....I like John Denver music."

This happened again? Incredible!

By HECTOR CASTRO
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER

An Olympia man is under arrest after allegedly running a pedestrian over with his car, then driving for several blocks with the man lodged in his windshield before calling for aid.

The accident happened just after 2:30 a.m. Sunday in the 5000 block of Rainier Avenue South, Seattle police Sgt. Paul Gracy said.

When he was struck, the victim, Kirkland resident Walter High, 47, was talking with some people standing on the driver's side of their car with the door open.

That's when a 29-year-old Olympia man in a 1991 Honda Accord hit High and the open driver's door.

The impact folded the door back and sent High crashing into the Honda's windshield, Gracy said.

High was sent partially into the driver's compartment, he said.

The driver told police that he thought he hit something but said he was not aware it was a person.

Police later found the victim's blood in the interior of the car, on the driver and on the driver's cell phone.

The man drove a few more blocks before High somehow became dislodged from the car, Gracy said.

He was left in the roadway on Rainier near South Angeline Street.

The Honda driver continued, telling police later that he could not get cell-phone reception near the scene of the accident.

He ended up calling for aid in the parking lot of a grocery store in the 3800 block of Rainier Avenue South.

Medical crews took the victim to Harborview Medical Center.

The victim did not survive his injuries.

The driver of the Honda was arrested for investigation of hit-and-run and vehicular homicide.

Ok, kids. It's that time again. Election Day. Now get out there and perform your civic duty. Go vote. You will feel better about yourself, I swear it. And you'll be a good role model for your kids.

Remember my motto:

Vote early, vote often!

Wait, that's not right. Anyway, see you at the booth!

I hate commercials that turn inanimate things into human-like beings (there's a word for that, but I can't think of it. Humanizing? No. Personification. No. Humanifipersonalization? Dang! I know I'll think of this at, like, 2am and it'll wake me up! Anyway...) But there are two "creatures" out there that simply must go.

#1 - Snuggle the fabric softener bear. That thing is just creepy, yo! (Note how cool and ghetto I am! Word up!) Yeah, it's time to give the bear to the dog and just move on. He's worse than clowns, for pete's sake.

#2 - That Arby's oven mitt. What the hell is that all about? First of all, if you ever used him as he was designed to be used, you would be picking up scalding hot oven dishes WITH HIS FACE! Yeeeoowww!! Secondly, well, to be frank, I really hate him! He bugs the hell outta me. And he probably doesn't care much for me, either. Does he even have a name? Dump him! I'd rather see the Arby's hat talk, ferchrissake!

Bonus #3 - The Pillsbury Pop'n'Fresh Dough Boy. Yup. Hate him too. And that poking in the belly thing to get a giggle? Doesn't work. Nope. I had someone do it to me once and it just hurts. "Dough" must go! "Dough" must go!

And you know what? As long as we're cleaning house, don't you think Jared's 15 minutes are up? I mean, good grief charlie brown, let it go already. I'm sure he's a swell guy in real life but admit it, enough's enough. Time for a new spokesman. Surely SOMEBODY else has lost weight eating Subway sandwiches. Right? Anyone?

One more day, Pixie. You hangin' in there ok?

This weekend I was busy ripping and burning DVDs. Well, I was having trouble getting one of our movies to download to disk. I was trying to download the movie "A Mighty Wind" and I kept getting errors. Pat walked into the room and asked me what I was doing, to which I replied (innocently):

I'm trying to rip A Mighty Wind.

There was a pregnant pause of about 4 seconds and then we both busted up! Rip a mighty wind! HAHAHAHA!! Man, that still cracks me up.

Ok, maybe you had to be there.

I was driving around this morning and I saw several things of interest;

1) moms. and kids. millions of moms with their kids. Wow! I had no idea there were so many of you out there.

2) drivers. More bad than good. Jeesus! Calm down folks. Let's all get to where we're going in one piece!

3) sunglasses. Giant sunglasses. On old people. Do you know the ones I'm talking about? I think I probably saw 50 people in their early hundreds wearing these huge freakin' sunglasses! These folks are definitely not going to be affected by sun glare, that's for damn sure! Now if we could just have a little refresher course in parking....Egad!

(Did I actually just use the word 'egad'? Great honk! How the heck old am I?)

It's not really November already, is it? Wasn't it just June a couple of days ago?

Sheesh! I don't think I'm mentally ready for the holiday season! And I know I'm not fiscally prepared!

Yikes!

Just a couple of useless facts today. Busy busy busy.

Spot, Data's cat on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was played by six different cats.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard's fish was named Livingston.

Hydrogen gas is the least dense substance in the world, at 0.08988 g/cc.

Hydrogen solid is the most dense substance in the world, at 70.6 g/cc .

The longest U.S. highway is route 6 starting in Cape Cod, Massachusetts going through 14 states, and ending in Bishop, California.

The movie "Paris, Texas" was banned in the city of Paris, Texas, shorty after its box office release.

The 'y' in signs reading "ye olde.." is properly pronounced with a 'th' sound, not 'y' (but it's not as fun to say). The "th" sound does not exist in Latin, so ancient Roman occupied England use the rune "thorn" to represent "th" sounds. With the advent of the printing press the character from the Roman alphabet which closest resembled the thorn was the lower case "y".

Yay!!!! We get to eat this week!

Hope everyone had a fun, safe Halloween! We successfully avoided the whole damn thing again this year. Yay!! And so, with that, I bring you this weekend's "Did you Knows".

The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

The first toilet (actually just the toilet tank) ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver". Wally and Beaver had a baby alligator which they kept in the toilet.

In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured

The most eastern part of the western world is located in Ilomantsi, Finland.

"Hara kiri" is an impolite way of saying the Japanese word "seppuku" which means, literally, "belly splitting."

The term the "Boogey Man will get you" comes from the Boogey people,who still inhabit an area of Indonesia. These people still act as pirates today and attack ships that pass. Thus the term spread "if you don't watch out the Boogey man will get you."

The Saturn V moon rocket consumed 15 tons of fuel per second.

Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actor's salaries.

The state with the longest coastline in the US is Michigan.

Race car is my favorite palindrome.

We will have four consecutive full moons making two blue moons in 1999 (January 2 and 31, March 2 and 31.) The only other time it happened this century was in 1915 (January 1 and 31, March 1 and 31.)

The Basset Horn, a kind of alto clarinet, was named after its inventor -- a man named Horn. "Basset" is from "Basetto," or "little bass" in Italian.

There are more bald eagles in the province of British Columbia then there are in the whole United States.

Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.

Games Slayter, a Purdue graduate, invented fiberglass.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers -- they saw it as competition. It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

Olympic Badminton rules say that the bird has to have exactly fourteen feathers.

In case you ever find yourself piloting a dogsled, shout "Jee!" to make the dogs turn left and "Ha!" to go right.

Richard Nixon left instructions for "California, Here I Come" to be the last piece of music played at his funeral ("softly and slowly") were he to die in office.