Do not, I repeat, DO NOT EVER go to Mr. Foley's house on Halloween!!

Always try to be aware of where the kids candy is coming from.

Horror Movie Character Survival Tips

1. If the house you’re living in tells you to “GO AWAY”, do so immediately.

2. Never take a bath or shower with an MSDC (maniac/spirit/demon/creature) in the house.

3. When it appears that you have killed the MSDC, DO NOT check to see if he/she/it’s really dead. Keep hacking at it until it is in pieces small enough not to be a threat to you. If you’ve shot at it, shoot at it again in the head, and remember, shoot till it stops moving, and then keep shooting till you’re out of ammo. Then reload and shoot it some more. Then set it on fire and burn it up, this works with everything except demons and spirits. Then get the hell out of there.

4. If plumbing fixtures or other structures in your home begin spewing body fluids, it’s time to move out.

5. Never read a book that summons demons aloud, even as a joke.

6. Don’t look under the bed.

7. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

8. If tree’s, TV’s or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get the hell out of the area.

9. If relatives or pets come back from the dead, stay as far away from them as possible.

10. If inanimate objects such as dolls, toys, or furniture attack you, be prudent, leave the area.

11. If you’ve hidden from the MSDC and you are not found, do not peek from or leave your hiding place. If you do, you will be seen and killed.

12. Never believe that your companion has truly become ”dispossessed.”

13. It is VERY, VERY dangerous to back into, or through rooms.

14. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run, and NOTE: It will probably take several rounds of gunfire to incapacitate them, so be prepared.

15. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER, EVER pair off, or go at it alone. The more people the MSDC is distracted by, the better “your” chance of escape. Splitting up is DUMB. If someone in your group suggests this, kill them. Even if they are not the MSDC, they are stupid and will get you into trouble later.

16. Never get into a car without first checking the back seat for occupants.

17. If demons begin possessing your companions, it’s a good idea to leave the area as soon, and as quickly as possible.

18. If your companions start turning up dead, make yourself scarce before someone else does it for you. Worry about funerals later.

19. If you’ve just finished running over the MSDC in your car, keep going. Most certainly DO NOT get out of the car under any circumstances
to see if he/she/it’s really dead.

20. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

21. Don’t fall asleep if you have a history of homicidal/suicidal nightmares.

22. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, etc.

23. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or near a window, especially those that appear that they would break easily.

24. If you find something that appears to be alive that you cannot identify, don’t pick it up or touch it with anything.

25. If you’re searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, LEAVE THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE YOU WILL
QUICKLY DIE. Translation: IT IS NEVER THE CAT!

26. If someone is in the water and starts screaming and is pulled under, DON’T GO AFTER THEM, AND DON’T GO OVER TO THE SHORE AND LOOK IN! If you are in a boat, immediately head for shore.

27. If appliances start operating by themselves, leave the area immediately.

28. Do not take anything from the dead.

29. If priests won’t or can’t enter your home, start looking for a new home.

30. If the place you are visiting is known for its history of mass murders, deaths, freak accidents, or supernatural occurrences, leave.

31. If you wake from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren’t awake yet.

32. If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a good reason, Take the hint and stay away.

33. Don’t play with Ouija boards. If you do and the Ouija board starts moving by itself, stop playing and leave immediately.

34. If supernatural beings start calling your name, leave the area immediately.

35. Never pick up a hitchhiker or stop to aid a suspicious person, especially if he/she/it resembles Santa Claus

36. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing.

37. Make sure that your weapon is loaded before you try to use it. (Two
Words: Extra Bullets)

38. If your space ship gets an alien distress signal from what appears to be a dead planet, don’t stop to check it out.

39. Never put your back to or lean on a door.

40. Never take the dare to spend a night in a haunted house.

41. Never talk to clowns in sewers.

42. Never accept gifts form strangers, especially if you suspect that they are supernatural beings.

43. If you‘re running from the MSDC, expect to trip and/or fall down at least twice. Do not turn to look back, if you do, you stand the good chance of tripping immediately and being killed. If you turn and look back, and you don’t see the MSDC chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the MSDC is now in front of you.

44. If your companions exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, biting, thirst for blood, howling, glowing eyes, unnatural hairiness,marked resemblance to demons, excretion of ectoplasm or other forms of gelatinous goo, flaming appendages, extra appendages, etc., get as far away from them as possible.

45. Listen closely to the soundtrack for hints on what is going on around you. Use all resources available, especially the audience, for on theaverage, they are much, much more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

46. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Crystal Lake, Transylvania, Nilbog
(God help you if you recognize this one), Mydian, Questa Verde, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

47. Beware of the transvestite doctors that sing.

48. Avoid secluded mountain resorts, especially those which keep ‘Redrum’ in stock.

49. Beware of strangers bearing tools of destruction such as chainsaws, staple guns, chipper/shredders, weed poppers, combines, lawn mowers,knives, soldering irons, stun guns, flame-throwers, and saws, crossbows, napalm, grenades, catapults, tactical warheads, high-powered rifles, gophers, food processors, gophers in food processors, lambchops, axes, gophers wielding axes, laser pistols, tanks, any weapon resembling Margaret Thatcher, or Alludium q-36 explosive space modulators.

50. If entering your craft you put your hand in a kind of sticky \slimy
\resinous kind of substance that was not there before, turn and runimmediately or you will be killed.

51. If you are in the Arctic and find an alien frozen in ice, don’t touch it, don’t thaw it out, leave it alone. The alien should be incinerated with thermite (or preferably a thermonuclear weapon), otherwise if it thaws out, it will kill you and every living thing on earth.

52. If you are alone in a house and something calls your name, leave the house immediately through whatever exit is in the opposite direction.
If there is no exit, make one.

53. Any light source dependent on fire is inadequate, especially during a thunderstorm, where common characteristics include high winds and rain.

54. Check your batteries before entering any structure that is not well lit and open. If the structure is well lit and open, check them anyway.

Regardless of how much you like pumpkins, try to remember that the good stuff is on the inside!

If the lights are out, the homeowners probably don't want to play Halloween. Do not force this issue. Results may be unpredictable!

When choosing your costume, really think it through, folks.

Be careful that you don't eat too much candy tonight, kids. You could end up looking like this:

Happy Halloween, everyone!

One of my all-time favorite bloggers (even though he's always giving me a hard time, damnit!), PeteBeck, sends me some of the strangest things. This picture, he tells me, is of the tiger that messed up Roy so badly. Somehow, I think he might be mistaken.

Be afraid. Be very afraid! (oh, and go say hi to Pete. Tell 'em Buzz sentcha!)

(click to embiggen)

With all of the talk with regard to pinging lately, I can't but be reminded of one of my all time favorite cartoon characters. Do any of you remember Ricochet Rabbit? He would always introduce himself as Sheriff Ping-Ping-Piiiiinnnng Ricoshaaaaaaaay Rabbit. He was an exciteable little fella. And of course he had a side kick (don't they all). His name was Droop-a-Long Coyote. He was your average sidekick - dumb, but loveable.

It got me a-thinkin' about some of the other B-list cartoon characters that I used to love so much. Here's the ones that I can think of off the top of my head.

Touche Turtle (sidekick DumDum)
Deputy Dawg
Wally Gator
Tom Terrific (that one goes WAY back. I think he was actually on Captain Kangaroo)
Speed Racer (he always had a great message - when in trouble force your enemy off the road so that they explode!)
Wacky Races (you just had to LOVE Penelope Pitstop!)
Grape Ape (I think this was part of the Tom and Jerry show - sidekick Beegley Beagley)
Atom Ant (he lived in a matchbox, I believe)
Underdog - "When Miss Polly's in trouble, I am not slow. So it's hip hip hip and away I go!"

Do you guys remember any of these characters? They entertained me on many a Saturday morning when I was just a wee lad.

I remember when I was a teenager getting some money together and hitting the record store. I tried to go once a week. I didn't always make it that often but I’m sure I made it at least once every two weeks. I would walk in and start flipping through the albums. Oh yeah. Vinyl albums, baby! They were so wonderful! They were big. They had great artwork. And they had a smell all their own. A record store always smelled so good to me. Somewhere between dusty and musty. Ahh, the atmosphere was heavenly.

I remember the first album that I bought just because I liked the cover. It was ELO’s “Eldorado”. I guess this was back in 1973 or so. I had never really heard of ELO but this album cover, with Dorothy’s ruby slippers and the Wicked Witch of the West’s hands being shocked mid-grab, just wow’d me and I snatched it up. Well, that became one of my favorite albums. Still is, in fact.

Now, I walk into a CD shop and I just don’t get the same feeling. Not even close. I guess there’s just too much plastic. In my mind, they will never be able to replace the look, feel, smell, the ambiance of a record shop filled with cardboard covered vinyl albums.

And that’s too bad.

My friend, and co-conspirator, John, has set forth some excellent common sense work rules. Go check them out. Oh, and are you giving him the linky-lovin' he deserves? C'mon folks, let's show him some lovin' over there. Believe me, he's worth the daily read.

Huh? Whassat? You want another sign?? Ok, one more. But that's it! Damnit. I'm a busy man!

Sign #2

(click to embiggen)

People say to me all the time "Hey Buzz. Know what I'm really in the mood for? A funny sign. But I don't know where to find one."

Well, worry no more, my friends, for I am here to provide.

Funny sign #1

This sign is funny in so many ways. One of my all-time favorites. Proof that you should always read the small print.

(click to embiggen)

Okay, maybe I was a little harsh last night with the "One Quick Question" rant. My friend Jennifer over at liscious.net/piehole brings up a good point. I really seem to only hate the OQQ when it comes from someone that I don't particularly care for. If it comes from someone that I like, I don't seem to mind it nearly as much. In fact, if it comes from someone that I like, I probably don't even notice it at all.

Man! That really weakens my stance on the whole OQQ thing, don't it?

By the way, are you reading Jennifer's site these days? She's a real hoot! If you haven't checked her out, why not head over to the piehole and give her a little read. You know I wouldn't steer you wrong. Plus you can let her know if her shirt is too short.

Oh, you know what else I hate? The work phrase that sends chills down my spine and grows hair on the palms of my hands? (Ok, it doesn't really grow hair on the palms of my hands, but you get the picture.) The phrase that, I believe, every support person grows to hate? It's when someone walks up to your desk and says those three little words:

"One quick question?"

Ugh! I hate that phrase. First of all, why do I give half a crap how quick the question is? The problem lies in how long the answer is, you dork! Sheesh!

Secondly. it's usually a lie. I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to me, said "One quick question" and five minutes later is still trying to explain their dumb-ass problem. (Ok, their problem may not really be dumb-ass, but I'm trying to make a point here. Walk with me down this road!)

The thing that may be worse than the OQQ is when someone walks up to you and says "Question". Like they really need to announce that the next thing they have to say will, indeed, be a question. You know what? I already knew that, dipwad. I didn't think that you walked from your desk to mine to talk about the Eagles, ferchrissake! (Well, maybe Buddha would, but not regular people.) I would just love to be able to say "Answer" and send them on their way. I don't, of course. But I'd really love to.

Or maybe hit 'em with a big board. Hehe. Yeah.

You know those "No Money Down!!!" infomercials? The ones where you can buy several houses even if you don't have any money and then turn around and sell them for a profit?

Or how about any of those other "get rich quick" schemes that are on late night TV every night?

Have any of you done this? Do you know anyone that has? I mean, these commercials have been on TV forever and I always assumed that they were just so much BS. But maybe I'm wrong. Have you ever heard of anyone doing any of those "Be Rich Like Me" schemes?

Has it ever worked for ANYONE? I would sincerely doubt it.

I’m taking vitamins these day. Big honkin’ vitamins. Big honkin’ UltraMaxSuperManlyStudMuffinMega vitamins. So, what does this mean?

Well, I suppose it could mean that I’m trying to be healthier. Or that I’ve made a decision to try to get my body the natural supplements it needs. Or that I’m actually taking my diet seriously (11 lbs down, thank you very much!).

But I think what it really means is that I will never again be in the dark. If you are ever lost in the deep dark woods and you find that you have no flashlight and you find that I happen to be with you, just give me some water and start me a-peein’. I am setting forth some amazingly fluorescent tinkle here folks and could blaze a trail visible from space! I mean, good grief! What the heck is that all about? Since I started taking these vitamins, I am practically blinding anyone who happens to be in the bathroom at the same time as me.

So I gotta know. This happens to everyone, right? This isn’t just me, right? This fluorescent glow is all right, right?

You know what technology needs tweaking? Well sure, that one does too, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Today I want to talk about hand-soap dispensers. The kind you may have in your own home.

This, my friends, is a technology that needs some fine tuning. Let’s take the dispensers at our house as an example. We have three. They’re kinda like Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear.

The one in our powder room, Papa Bear, is super powerful. Way too powerful. To the unsuspecting bathroom visitor it will shoot hand soap over the outstretched hand like some sort of antibacterial, glycerin-based, country herbal money shot! Whoa! Better be on your toes for that one!

The one in our kitchen, Mama Bear, requires the filthy handed user to pump the handle 5, 6, 7 times before you start to get some dribbling soap out of it. This thing is sad, people. And not a little bit disgusting as it tries and tries to deliver the goods.

The one in our Master bathroom, Baby Bear, is just right. Push once and you’ve got the perfect handful of soap. Ahh, perfection.

Now, this doesn’t seem like rocket science to me. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I think that if we could spend a little of the money that we are currently spending on useless studies (that’s a whole different post!), someone could devise the perfect hand soap dispenser.

Until then, if you show up at my house with dirty hands…well, forewarned is forearmed, I always say.

Ok folks. We're going to be a little more risque here than normal, so get the yung'uns out of the room. Are they gone yet? No, seriously. Are they gone?

Ok, good.

I've been seeing some simply amazing things being done in the field of body painting and thought I would show you some of the stuff I've found, or rather, has been sent to me.

Yes, this is the R rated part. Calm down, will ya? (This is NOT WORK SAFE!!)

Pretty cool stuff, eh? And then there's stuff that's just fun.

That's it. We now return to you to your regular PG-13 Buzzstuff.

Strange happenings in Brown County, Indiana. Although I think that the UFO angle is a stretch, at best.

By Judy Hess Staff writer
JHess@bcdemocrat.com

Something unnatural is going on in Yellowwood State Forest.

The mystery began a few years ago when a turkey hunter, scouting in a remote area of the 23,000-acre forest, discovered a large boulder in the top of an 80-foot-tall chestnut oak tree. What he saw wedged among its branches was a boulder about 4 feet wide and a foot thick.

The boulder was eventually dubbed Gobbler’s Rock after the turkey hunter. It sits high on a south-facing slope overlooking a ravine near Tulip Tree Road in western Brown County and is thought to weigh at least 400 pounds.

After the initial sighting of Gobbler’s Rock, hikers have found at least two more giant sandstone boulders sitting in the top limbs of two sycamores. One boulder is nearly 45 feet off the ground and both rocks appear to weigh about 200 pounds. The trees are 100 yards apart growing near the banks of Plum Creek in a seldom-visited part of Yellowwood State Forest, just southwest of Helmsburg.

Known to locals as URBs, or Unexplained Resting Boulders, officials can’t explain how the boulders got wedged into the branches in the first place. The huge rocks couldn’t grow upward with the trees because the saplings could not have withstood their weight. The boulders must have been placed high in the trees after their trunks were sturdy enough to support them.

Sandstone boulders are a part of the natural Yellowwood setting. They are scattered around the forest floor so the rocks could have originated near the trees.

But officials can’t find any proof that this was caused by a natural event or that someone played a joke. A joke that would require heavy-duty moving equipment to get the boulders into the branches.

As theories abound from fraternity pranks, tornadoes, to high winds or floods, the strange phenomenon is now the focus of several UFO Web sites.

In fact, the rock-in-a-tree is highlighted at abduct.com, a UFO-related Web site.

The Web site posts a few comments from a UFO investigator about Gobbler’s Rock and asks “Did a UFO put a boulder in this tree?”

“If the rock was blown into the tree, why isn’t there some sign of damage to the bark? It had to be gently rested in the branches, I would think, but by what?” the investigator asks.

Another UFO Web site ponders such questions like “Could an examination of the trees reveal whether they had had damage at a young age? Can anyone think of a mechanism whereby the boulders were lifted as the trees grew?”

Mark Shields, a Yellowwood employee, says “just about every theory has been shot down”.

“If I had to guess, maybe a tornado,” Mr. Shields said.

He stated it’s unlikely that blasting at some nearby site would have blown the rock into its perch. The most logical answer, he said, is that a tornado picked the rock up and dropped it in the branches. Although he admits that theory’s not very likely because of the way the boulder sits in the tree.

“The rocks sits right in the crown of the tree,” Mr. Shields said.

If you’d like to try finding the huge boulders, you’ll need a compass. The trees are a considerable distance from the nearest roadway.

Directions to the sycamore tree rocks:

Travel north on Yellowwood Lake Road about three miles from the Yellowwood State Forest office. Turn east on Lanam Ridge Road. Follow the road about three miles, and turn west on Dollsberry Lane, about a mile south of Helmsburg. Follow the gravel road until it ends. Park in a small parking area on the south side of the roadway.

From this point, a compass is required because there is no marked trail or path, and underbrush in some areas is thick. Follow the old roadway west, and then southwest. South of the pond, which is on private property, travel southwest to Plum Creek, following the creek as it meanders west. The two sycamores holding the rocks are on the north creek bank, about a third of a mile west-southwest from the parking area. The trees are about 100 yards apart, but not visible from each other. (GPS coordinates: N39 14.986, W86 18.492, N39 14.984, W8618.560)

Ok, since it's such a crappy day today, I think maybe we need a little game. Let's play story-time. I'll start the story and you guys continue it in the comments. Anyone wanna play?

Ok, here goes.

It was a dark and stormy night. Mildred and Fred were just getting ready to call it a day when a loud crash from the backyard startled them. Looking warily out the kitchen window they were shocked to see.......

You know how sometimes you wake up in the morning and you lie there for a few minutes and you come up with three or four ideas about how not to go into work and two of them, ok one of them, is actually a decent idea and would probably sound ok to your boss and co-workers as something that could plausibly keep you home, you know, something like "I chipped my tooth on a gummy rat" or "my kids were kidnapped and I didn't get any sleep at all", but then you force yourself to get up and get a shower because you know that in the end no one would really believe your lame-ass excuse and then later when you felt perfectly alright you would feel kinda guilty about not going in?

Yeah, me too.

Happy Monday, kids.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I will leave you tonight with another round of "Did You Know".

If you lace your shoes from the inside to the outside the fit will be snugger around your big toe.

Only 1/3 of the people that can twitch their ears can twitch only one at a time.

The expression "What in tarnation" comes from the original meaning: "What in eternal damnation"

In Mel Brooks' 'Silent Movie,' mime Marcel Marceau is the only person who has a speaking role.

Gary Burghoff who played Walter "Radar" O'Reily on M*A*S*H has a deformed left thumb. If you watch closely you will see that he never shows his left hand.

Only two states' names begin with double consonants: Florida and Rhode Island.

The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.

The Cincinnati Reds baseball team name was officially changed to the Redlegs during the anti-communist movement.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

"Xmas" does not begin with the Roman letter X. It begins with the Greek letter "chi," which was used in medieval manuscripts as an abbreviation for the word "Christ" (xus = christus, etc.)

The ampersand (&) is actually a stylised version of the Latin word "et," meaning and.

The largest city in the United States with a one syllable name is Flint, Michigan.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

On the cartoon show 'The Jetsons', Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15.

Wow! I lost 50 links last night on Blogrolling. I musta really pissed someone off. And bad!

Anyone else seeing a drastic cut in links?

I actually watched game 6 of the World Series last night. I don't care much for baseball, but it was a big game so I plunked down and watched the damn thing. It was exciting, I suppose, in it's whole boring baseball way, but the one thing that kept popping into my mind even as they carried Josh Beckett, the Marlins pitcher, off on their shoulders was this:

Thank god baseball season is over! Now we can finally concentrate on hockey and football.

As god intended.

Here we go. This weekend's first installment of "Did You Know":

The newest dog breed is the Bull Boxer, first bred in the United states in 1990-91.

The first hard drive available for the Apple II had a capacity of 5 megabytes.

South of Tucson, Arizona, all road signs are in the Metric System.

The real name of Astro (the dog fromThe Jetsons) is "Tralfaz" -- his real owner appeared one day to claim him but wound up giving him back to the Jetsons.

Charlie Brown's father was a barber.

The original story from Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy."

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intraveinously.

Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)

Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.

It is a misdemeanor to kill or threaten a butterfly -- so says City Ordinance No. 352 in Pacific Grove, California.

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

When Saigon fell the signal for all Americans to evacuate was Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" being played on the radio.

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that participated in last night's BucaChat. There were so many of you!! Wow! You guys rock! Well, all except John! Dude, you are in big big trouble!

For those that couldn't make it, here's a little taste of what happened.

There were several cams going (everyone maintained dignity though and there was very little flashing)

Yvonne did the worm on camera! Yowza!

John made a terrible photoshop picture of me.

SkurdyCat did a lot of yawning but hung in there like a real trooper.

Everyone chatted at an incredibly mad pace. It was tough keeping up!

As always, there was a ton of virtual licking going on. Erica is just otta control!

KathyHowe actually showed up!

Buddha might have invited the entire Internet to his house for a party. I'll have to follow up on that one.

There was more, but it's all happened so fast! Anyway, thanks again to all of the participants. I wish I could mention you all by name, but I have to be at work by Monday!

We'll have to do it again someday.

There's just no accounting for some people's taste in music. Mine, for example.

I am getting ready to prepare dinner and so I went in and turned on the stereo for some tunes whilst I work. I put on one of my favorite albums and decided that I was feeling a bit rowdy and so I really cranked it up. Now, my music's blasting from the family room and I am totally groovin'.

The blasting music may make me sound funky and cool, but I have to admit that I am blasting Enya. Yes, that Enya.

I don't know whether that's funny or just embarrassing.

While surfing around yesterday, I stumbled upon a new site that really tickled my funnybone. And you all know how I love to share these finds with you. Anyway, the site is http://wherethehellwasi.blogspot.com/ and I think that you should probably go check it out. This guy is funny. He can't stay on topic for beans, but that is part of the charm.

If you're looking for a smile or three, stop on by and give him a read. Tell him Buzz sent'cha.

Ok chatters. Anyone that is interested in the Bucachat tonight can get there by going to this site:

http://www.buzzstuff.net/bucachat

When you get there, simply enter your name (i.e. Buzz, Empress, BusyMom, etc) and hit Enter. There is no password.

These things usually get started around 09:00 pm (2100 for you military folk) Eastern, but feel free to enter the room any time you please.

"See" y'all tonight.

We just watched 'Matrix Reloaded'. Ok, well it sure did have a lot of fighting. And action sequences, too! Oh wait, that was the fighting. Well, it might not have been a great movie but at least there was a bunch of fighting.

Lord I hope the third one is better than that. That was weak.

Here's some pretty interesting statistics in regard to the last 100 years:

Here are the U.S. statistics for 1903...

The average life expectancy in the US was forty-seven.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the US had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars..

There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour.

The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000.

More than 95 percent of all births in the US took place at home.

Ninety percent of all US physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard".

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.

The five leading causes of death in the US were:
Pneumonia and influenza
Tuberculosis
Diarrhea
Heart disease
Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

One in ten US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Coco Cola contained cocaine. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the US had at least one full-time servant or domestic.

There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire US.

I can't wait to see what the next 100 years has in store.

Ok, I think I’ll film the story of my life. Maybe I’ll call it “Buzzed – The Rise and Eventual Annihilation of a Blogger”. First things first, though. I need a cast. Let’s see.

I was originally going to get Drew Carey to play me, but I’m losing weight over here so I think I’ll go with Greg Kinnear. Why? Because he’s way cool, and he’s a funny guy!! I like that. Plus, we’re about the same age.

The esteemed role of Pat, my wife will be played by Janeane Garofalo. I think she’s terrific and looks a lot like my wife. She’ll have to let her hair go natural, though.

My kids will be played by Mark Wahlberg, Donnie Wahlberg, and Ben Affleck. That would rock!

My Mom should be played by Audrey Hepburn. They always seemed similar to me. Of course, we’ll have to bring Audrey back from the dead so that could get tricky. I’ll have to work on that issue.

My friend John would be played by Ryan Stiles from ‘Whose Line is it Anyway’. They both look and seem perfectly normal until you start to talk with them and realize that they are both clinically insane. Super fun!

Buddha would be played by Jackie Chan. They are both funny guys and my pal Buddha is constantly getting into scraps with the bad guys.

Valley would be played by Elisabeth Shue. They look very similar (although I've never seen Valley nude) and I think they are both totally cool!

KathyHowe and Erica would obviously play themselves.

So, there it is. I’m hoping for a December 2006 release. Hope to see you all at the premier.

By the way, who would play you in the story of your life?

This is for my wife, who just lurves her some tigers!

(click to embiggen)

Wouldn't it be funny if we someday find out that the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

Maybe you folks can help me out because I just don't get it. I've read a lot of posts and heard a lot of people around work talking about Jessica Simpson and how funny it is to watch her be stupid. "Chicken of the Sea is Tuna?" HAHAHAHA!! Umm, funny? "How about no, Scott."

So let me get this straight. If you look like this then it's funny to be stupid? I only ask because I work with some people that don't look like that who are plenty stupid and I can't find any humor in it at all. In fact, they frustrate the hell out of me. And stupid drivers? Nope, not once have I busted up and said "See that stupid driver that cut me off? Hoowee!! What a hoot!".

I'm all for funny, but this girl is just sad. And it's all the worse because she seems to flaunt it. And man! do we ever eat it up!! We totally validate her with our ratings. Talk about stupid!

I guess if you've got the looks that's all that matters, eh?

Ok kiddie-o's, here we go again.

What? BucaChat

When? This Friday 10/24/03

What Time? Well, we usually start around 09:00 p.m. Eastern

Who’s invited? Everyone. Yes, even you, silly.

How do I get in? I will be posting a link and login instructions soon.

What the hell is a BucaChat? Man, you ask a lot of questions! Well, let’s see. A BucaChat is simply a gathering of bloggers in a chatroom. There are multiple calls to chug whatever your drink of choice is (mmm, Sambuca) and it doesn’t take long for the conversation to get, um, lively. There have been several webcam instances in the past, but I make no promises. There are no hard and fast rules, and you don’t have to show up at a particular time. If you’ve got five minutes, pop in and say howdy.

Yeah, but will KathyHowe show up this time? That’s a damn good question. After rudely blowing us off last time, I have received a written commitment from her to be there. However, if The Boy showed up on her doorstep at 08:55 EST, I think all bets would be off.

I heard you have had some famous people show up! Oh yeah, we get famous people all the time. Yvonne is a regular. Joelle showed up once. Sphinxy was there throwing down some Chardonnay pretty good one time. I can’t promise any star power this time, but you never know.

So stop by if you’ve got a chance. You may even meet some new people for your blogroll. I know I have.

To the young man in the white SUV over by Best Buy today with his pinky finger jammed two knuckles worth up his nasal cavity:

Just wanted to let you know that the glass windows that allow you to see out of your vehicle are the very same glass windows that allow us to see in.

Your welcome,

Buzz.

With all the hubbub going on over at Blogrolling.com, I realized one thing. I am addicted to, and totally dependant on, Blogrolling. I live and breathe by this thing. I am blogrolling’s bitch!

Why use Blogrolling? Well, the obvious reason is to keep track of the people that you link to. Show when they update (although that’s a little flaky right now). It’s a great filing cabinet.

But, possibly even more importantly, it is also a great way to find new sites. I have found some great reads just by checking out who has linked to me. That's one of the wonderful features of Blogrolling. I would say that 75% of the people that I link to I found through that feature.

I remember the first time I was linked. I was writing my silly stuff, like I do, and suddenly, there it was. A complete stranger. I was right there in her list of links. I kept going back to her site just to see my name there. I was so damn tickled. Who was it? Why, it was Shelli, of course, over at “Painfully Cool”. Shelli will always hold a special place in my heart because of that. Thanks, girlfriend.

I’ve gained, and lost, a lot of links since then, but I still get tickled when someone new links to me. It’s a special thing. It’s a good feeling. It’s validating. It’s nice to see your name up on someone’s site. And you know it.

So, today your mission is to link someone new. Maybe there’s someone that you read but you haven’t decided whether to link them or not. Go ahead and link them. Or head over to one of your favorite reads and see who they link to. Odds are, you’ll like them as well.

Let’s spread a little linky-love today. Whaddya say?

I just love new toys! Especially new electronic toys. Especially toys like the shiny new DVD writer that we bought this weekend. Woohoo!! What fun! Not that we will be copying any of the hundreds of movies we watch. No sirree-bob! Why, that's illegal. So we won't be doing that. Cross my heart and hope to die. Nope, we'll just use it to burn, umm, home movies and data files. Yeah. We can back up all of our really important data files. You know, like, ummm, well....well, important files that we might have. And we'll use it to burn....errr, pictures! Yeah! All of the still pictures that we have can all be loaded onto DVD.

But no movies! That's for sure! Like this one.

(click to embiggen - makes great wallpaper!)

I really love Autumn! I know you do too. But you may not know why I love it so much. Is it because of the beautiful turning of the leaves? No. That's nice but that ain't the reason. Is it because the oppressive heat of a too-long summer is finally past? Nope. Good guess, though. Try again. Is it because the lawn doesn't need to be mowed any more? How about the electric/gas bill coming way down? Both excellent guesses. Both wrong

The real reason I love fall so much is because I can start to wear a jacket. What's so great about that, you ask? Well, I have a bad history of losing things. Sunglasses, keys, etc. Once it turns a little chilly and I start to wear a coat, I always know where those things are. They are always in my coat pocket. It's just one less thing to clutter up this mind of mine. It's truly a beautiful thing!

Ahhh, Fall.

Here's something else I love. And you will too. iTunes. Oh yeah, that's what I said. iTunes. I used to covet this application from the oh-so-lucky Mac users out there. I saw all of it's neat features and it's speedy searches and lightning quick reads. And I was jealous. I don't mind admitting it. I was green with envy.

Until last week.

Macintosh unveiled a Windows version of iTunes. I downloaded it (for free) both at work and at home and I am as happy as a pig in a pod on a log (I may have mixed up a metaphor or two there). It works great and has now replaced my MusicMatch which was such a memory hog that it would make my computer crash occasionaly.

So, if you're looking for a great player for your computer bound MP3s, I suggest Macintosh's iTunes. Now available for Windows!

I just love caper films. Don't you? They are generally low violence, high action, great suspense and intrigue. I love all of the diamond stealing, bank robbing, gold pilfering films that generally pit the bad guys against the worse guys. Two of my favorite caper films are new remakes. Ocean's 11 and The Italian Job. Both very slick films. Great chase scenes (a must in any caper film), great complicated robberies (a definite must in any caper film) and likable characters (a must in any film at all).

If you like this type of movie (and who wouldn't) I recommend getting out to your local video rental store and pick up a copy. You're sure to be entertained.

I just love KathyHowe. Don't you? She's really quite remarkable. She takes the time to comment on a lot of people's sites. She has some of the most interesting posts going (now the pressure's on, Zoofy). She's good for a laugh or a thought or a dream interpretation or some sage advice or a shoulder to cry on....whatever the moment calls for.

The thing is, I would love to figure out how she manages to get so much done in the course of one day. I think her days are actually 38 hours long. She has somehow managed to bend the time/space continuum. We must find out her secret so that she can be destroyed! Oh wait, never mind that destroy business. I lost my head for a minute.

Anyway, go over there and give her some of that bloggy-love I know you are all capable of. And link to her, for dog's sake! She is definitely worth it!

Know what else I just love? David Blaine's latest stunt over in England. You know the one. Where he hung out in a big plastic box for, like, a month or a year or something. The one where he couldn't eat or drink or be interesting. Yeah, I love the magical mystic-ness of that stunt. It was so mysterious.

Oh wait. I didn't love that! In fact, I thought it was stupid! Why the hell would anyone care to watch someone starve himself on purpose?

I used to think Blaine was pretty cool. Now I think he's a bit of an ass.

I just love me some macaroni and cheese! Don't you? I mean, a nice big plate of creamy mac 'n' cheese is about my favorite food of all time. And I'm not that picky about it either. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? Yes, please. Velveeta Cheese and Shells? Absolutely! Of course my favorite is my wife's macaroni and cheese (I think the secret is the onions), but I'll eat just about any that I can find. Oh and throw in some fish sticks and stewed tomatoes and I am in hog heaven!

I write this post this with a bit of sadness, though. I am now on the ol' Atkins diet (10 lbs down, thank you very much) and the dear old doctor (may he rest in peace) says NO WAY, JOSE! to macaroni and cheese. Still, a boy can dream, right? And there's nothing wrong with a little cheat every once in a while, is there?

Mondays generally suck, don't they? And for good reasons. One, you've got a whole work week ahead of you. Blech! Two, you didn't get everything done that you wanted to get done over the weekend. Damn! Three, you gotta get up early instead of sleeping in. Crap! Yeah, all in all, Mondays really do suck.

But rather than let Monday get me down, I've decided ('cause it's my blog and I can do what I want) to make today "I just love....don't you" Day. I'll be telling (and showing) you people, places and things that 'I just love' all day today. Maybe some of them you'll love too. Probably some not so much.

Let's see, I started this off last night with Kate Bush. What can be next? Ooh, I know!

I just love Mystic, Connecticut! Don't you? In fact, I really love all of New England. I was born in Connecticut and finished high school right down the road from Mystic (Go Fitch Falcons!). I have always fanasized about owning a beautiful home along the Mystic River. One of the ones that have to painted white by law. It's really beautiful up there. If you've never been, I can highly recommend it. It's a great place for a nice, 'get-away-from-it-all' vacation.

Maybe we'll meet you there! We'll catch you at the bar at The Steak Loft. Cheers!

I just love Kate Bush. Don't you?

Are you kidding me? Cowboys Win Fifth Straight 38-7. Lordy lordy lordy.

Say it with me folks:

I believe!! C'mon. I know you wanna!

Did you know....

Dudley DoRight's horse's name was "Horse."

If the Spaceship Earth ride at EPCOT was a golf ball, to be the proportional size to hit it, you'd be two miles tall.

On Sesame Street, Bert's goldfish were named Lyle and Talbot, presumably after the actor Lyle Talbot (from such classics as Atom Man vs. Superman!)

The word "hangnail" comes from Middle English: ang- (painful) + nail. Nothing to do with hanging.

Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain smoked forty cigars a day for the last years of his life.

Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Haley's Comet came into veiw. When
He died in 1910, Haley's Comet came into view again.

Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

If you were born in Los Alamos, New Mexico during the Manhattan project (where they made the atomic bomb), your birthplace was listed as a post office box in Albequerque.

Robert Kennedy was killed in the Ambassador Hotel, the same hotel that housed Marilyn Monroe's first modelling agency.

Ronald Reagan sent out the army phoyographer who first discovered Marilyn Monroe.

Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox, Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. ..

Good morning. Today's Calvin and Hobbes sorta busted me up, so I figured I'd share the smile.

(click to embiggen)

Here you go. This weekend's first installment of "Did you know".

Ham radio operators got the term "ham" coined from the expression "ham-fisted operators", a term used to describe early radio users who sent Morse code (i.e. pounded their fists).

While the Chinese invented gunpowder, they were not the first to develop firearms. Sam Colt invented the "revolving pistol." Therefore, all revolvers are correctly called pistols.

Revolvers cannot be silenced, due to all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder gap at the rear of the barrel.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

The home team must provide the referee with 24 footballs for each National Football League game.

The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz.

A flea expert is a pullicologist.

A bear has 42 teeth.

M&M's stands for the last names of Forrest Mars, Sr., then candymaker, and his associate Bruce Murrie.

The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. Heh.

Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 105.6 miles per hour.

Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties in climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.

I didn't want to do it. I resisted the urge for a long time, I promise you I did. But I am weak. I have given in to the pressure. I posted the picture that I swore I wouldn't. Please forgive me. Continue if you dare.

(click to embiggen)

..

We are having a particularly nasty mayoral campaign going on here in Philly. There are investigations (on both sides) and the smear campaigns are in full swing. I don't usually pay them much mind, but this year I have noticed what they are saying. And you know what? I believe them. Both!

I believe that both candidates are lying, thieving scumbags just like the other one says and I think that they should both be tossed out on their pompous asses! I can't stand the sight of either of these guys!

Hmmm. Once they've been given the boot, maybe I'll run for the job. Mayor Buzz. Yeah. That has a nice ring to it.

Baseball season is finally over. Yay! Oh, I know that there is another series to play, but who cares about that? Everyone knows that this post-season was all about getting the Cubs to the World Series and watching the Yankees/Red Sox series. Well, the Cubs lost and the Red Sox lost. So the Yankees are going to the big dance. Again. The Yankees are going to the World Series. It's so predictable. It's so boring. It's downright fascist, I tell ya.

Oh, and the Marlins are going to the World Series as well. Ummm, WHO CARES? No one cares about the Marlins except 18 retirees from Lake Okeefanokeeochobee or some such god forsaken reclaimed swampland**. The only reason that people will be rooting for the Marlins is because they are sick to death of the Yankees!

Thank god it's hockey/football season.

** With apologies to those folks living near Lake Okeefanokeeochobee or some such god forsaken reclaimed swampland. I'm sure it's lovely this time of year.

Just thought I'd share the news that I am now fully into day TWO of having 'Rhinestone Cowboy' stuck in my head. No, not the actual cowboy! The song, you freak!

Now. Where did I put those bullets?

By the way, check out this picture of my buddy Glen. I don't think that his head is actually attached to his body. That would certainly explain a few things!

(click to embiggen)
..

I've never been a real big baseball fan. Football and hockey. Those are my sports. But I gotta admit, these last two series have gotten me pretty excited. I was pretty torqued up for a Cubs/Red Sox World Series, and I doubt that I was alone in that feeling. Well, the Cubs obviously won't be in it, but there's still hope for the Sox (sorry Michele).

So I guess I'll join the fray and shout out

GO SOX!

There! That wasn't so hard.

Work is really dragging me down. It's like they want me to be all productive over here, work all eight or nine hours and they don't seem to give one flying rat's kazoofus if I never get to blog! The nerve!

I just can't keep up with what's going on out there with all of you. I don't have time anymore to read all of the ups and downs and backs and forths of your lives. And I miss it! If anyone can sum it all up in a nutshell, I would really appreciate it! I mean, what the hell is going on out there?

Thanks. ..

One of my favorite bloggers, PeteBeck, sent me this list yesterday and I just now stopped laughing enough to post it. These just cracked me so very up and Pete gave me the thumbs up to post it. Thanks, man.

Warning: remove all liquid from mouth before reading!!

These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.
Of course, younger readers wouldn't know who some of these people are, but the answers are timeless.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you most likely to be a
man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's
attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give
you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during the first year?
A. Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics. What is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet. ..

Yep, it happened again. This is what I found on my computer when I got up this morning. I think someone must have dropped poor KathyHowe on her head as a baby.

khowedotcom: yeah right. like you are really here.
khowedotcom: have we EVER actually IM'd each other...when we were both online?
khowedotcom: methinks the answer is no.
khowedotcom: ooooooh...and looky here.
khowedotcom: no buzzy.
khowedotcom: *eeek! i'm shocked*

khowedotcom: this is my shocked face ------>
khowedotcom: lol
khowedotcom: empress?
khowedotcom: empress?
khowedotcom: empress?
khowedotcom: empress we need to talk about that damn snake picture on your blog.
khowedotcom: specifically about removing it.
khowedotcom: empress - what the hell is your IM handle fer petes sake?
khowedotcom: maybe i'd have a better success rate if I IM'd you.
khowedotcom: hard to say.
khowedotcom: ok...i had something to tell buzz and now i don't remember what the hell it was.
khowedotcom: it'll come to me later. it always does.
khowedotcom: over and out.
khowedotcom signed off at 1:00:41 AM.

I am in a friendly giving mood today. And so, my friends, I am going to give you all something tonight. You know how, when you hard-boil eggs, you get the green around the yolk and the egg itself is so hard to peel? It can be eggs-asperating!

EGGSASPERATING!! HAHAHA!! HAHAHAHA!! OOOOWEEE!! Man that's too funny!

Right. Anyway, I am going to give you the formula for making the perfect hard-boiled egg. Your friends and family will be so impressed and your boss will probably give you a raise.

1) Put eggs into a pot filled with enough COLD WATER to just cover the eggs.

2) Put uncovered pot of COLD WATER onto stove and heat to boiling.

3) When the water hits a nice high rolling boil, put a cover on the pot and TURN THE STOVE OFF. Set the timer for 25 minutes.

4) When the timer goes off, put the eggs into cold water to cool them down. These eggs are now perfectly hard-boiled. No green ring and they practically peel themselves.

Oh, and here's a bit of information for you. How do you know the difference between a hard-boiled egg in the fridge and a raw egg? Put the egg on a flat surface and give it a spin. A hard boiled egg will spin nicely, whereas a raw egg will will wobble and fall down immediately.

There! Now you can call yourselves EGGSPERTS!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY SIDES!! OH GEEZ, I'M SLAYING MYSELF OVER HERE!!! ..

I don't generally do any memes. I've got nothing against them, they're just not my bag. I saw this one over at Melissa's joint, however, and just couldn't resist.

Pick one blogger for each of these. (The last question is exempt from this rule.) You can pick the same blogger as an answer for more than one question.

The blogger you'd trust with your life: Pat. She is my life.

The blogger you can trust with your deepest, darkest secrets: Pat. The stuff she knows about me would kill an ordinary human!

The blogger who makes you laugh the most: Pat. Man, we really get going sometimes!

The blogger who makes you think the most: Pat. I hate that about her!

The blogger you'd like to live near to: Pat. Oh, I do already!

The blogger you'd like to have as a roommate: Pat. Oh, I do already!

The blogger you'd like to go to Disneyland (or Six Flags) with: Pat. Except we would never go there!

The blogger on your blogroll who is most similar to you. How? Pat. Well, we share a last name so that's pretty similar.

The blogger on your blogroll who is most different than you. How? Pat. Well, she's, like, a chick and I'm, like, a dude so that's pretty different.

Lastly, pick five bloggers you'd like to have a slumber party/party/bar night with. What would you do? I'd have to start with Pat and then anyone else that wants to tag along is welcome. Oh we'd have a mighty part, for sure! ..

Ok, here we go. Each pair of letters (A and B, C and D, etc) describes a blogger. Thirteen bloggers. Thirteen different sites. Can you name them?

A is for All of the journals she keeps
B is the Boy. Her favorite of peeps.

C is Chinese which he certainly is
D is the Den where he currently lives

E is Enjoying last week in the sun
F is for Flies. He ties them for fun

Gs for Guitar that this guy can play
H is for How he started 28th Day

I is for Introverted but try not to be fooled
J is for Jewelry. She like to be jeweled.

K is for kids. Two more will be fine!
L is the landscapes she used to design

M is for keeping three busy Mouths fed
N is pNeumonia that keeps her in bed (for now)

O is Orange chicken she loves that her mom makes
P are the peas that I know that she hates

Q is the Quirky devil hats that she made
R is for Rolling on Jim Morrison’s grave

S is for Slang – She’s Straight trippin’, boo
T is for Tea – Chai would be cool!

U is Unpickled – a name that she picked
V is for Vegas. She got drunk but not sick.

W is for Web Design. Her skillz are just mad
X is for eX-Eagles fan because they’re so bad! (just joshing ya, girl)

Y is Yvonne – our favorite Lakers fan
Z is for Zany. And we love her webcam!

I do not really care for dogs. Nope. Not a 'dog person'. Whenever I see a dog, I naturally assume that it's going to kill me. Unless it's a really small dog and then all of the shaking and darting eye business just makes me nervous and I want to kill it.

That said, I do enjoy watching dog shows on TV. The Eukanuba one is coming up and we will probably watch it. We usually do. And while I do like the show, there are three things that disturb me every time. Maybe it's just me.

1) I don't like when the owner/trainer picks up the dog by it's little stump of a tail and puts it on the table to start the judging. I know I wouldn't like it if I were picked up by my tail.

2) When the dog is on the table, the judge does a pretty thorough job of....well, judging, I suppose. That's fine, but I still get a little skeeved when they check the poor dog's nethers. I know I wouldn't want my nethers judged like that. Especially in front of all my other little dog friends.

3) The thing that both freaks me out and cracks me up is when the owner/trainer start jogging around the room with their dog. These folks are dressed to the nines and it's pretty damn funny (in a freaky sorta way) to see them running along side of their dog in their tuxedos or long evening gowns. I think the dog must be frightfully embarrased by all of this. I know I wouldn't want my owner/trainer running alongside me dressed for a formal ball.

Don't ya just miss the Coreys? I wonder what they're doing now.

..

So, say you're a deer, a buck, in fact. And you decide, like any buck might, to go clothes shopping in Linden, NJ. There you are, strolling up and down the aisles, kicking in the mirrors, knocking down shelves, trampling clothes, frightening all the other customers, you know, like ya do, and suddenly BAM!! Some gung-ho, macho ass, NYC cop shoots you with a tranquilizer gun! What a way to ruin a perfectly good shopping trip. And while you're in the rut, no less. How completely embarrassing!

Wayward Deer Enters N.J. Clothing Store

I love the old Pink Panther movies and I love Steve Martin, but I am having some trouble picturing anyone other than Peter Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau. I don't know. Whaddya think?

Steve Martin Thinking 'Pink'

This story baffles me. Seems this dude, in prison for mass murder, escaped prison by shimmying down a bunch of bedsheets tied together. No, you read that right. Bedsheets. Tied together. Did no one at this prison watch any 'bugs bunny - road runner' cartoons when they were little. This is pretty much a standard escape ploy used by your average cartoon character. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the escaped convict, once he touched ground, continued his escape with the aid of his Acme brand rocket-powered shoes!

Pa. Police Hunt Escaped Murder Suspect

UPDATE: Escaped Murder Suspect Surrenders in Pennsylvania. Says here "Selenski surrendered to authorities at his home near Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, about 120 miles north of Philadelphia." AT HIS HOME?? Please don't tell me that after SHIMMYING DOWN BEDSHEETS that the authorites who were searching for him DIDN'T CHECK HIS FREAKIN' HOUSE!!!

Good morning, kiddos. I just want to thank you all for the well wishes. Just wonderful, really. And they worked (mostly)! I feel much better this morning and am back in the game.

To start today off, I want to send a shout out to my wife, the Empress. She got a new winter skin (yeah, that's coming up fast - sorry) that just looks totally faboo. It's not the default yet, so just "Skin this site". Easy as pie.

And while you're checking out the skin, do her (and yourself) a favor and show her some linky-love. She'll like it (who doesn't love links?) and you'll be checking out a great site. I promise.

Now go ahead. Quit being so damn shy!

I feel like hell. My throat hurts like hell. My back hurts like hell. I'm tired as hell. I've got the energy of a three-toed, no wait, a TWO-toed sloth. My brain is dead.

As such. I'm taking a blog holiday today. I'll be back bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow, I'm sure.

Please feel free to talk quietly amongst yourselves.

Oh, and just so your visit here wasn't a complete waste of time, I'll leave you with some pictures of (oddly) Ingrid Bergman, one of the most beautiful people to ever grace a stage.

Sorry Buddha. You can only go to the "on-side kick well" so many times. That well is dry, my friend!

Cowboys beat Eagles 23 - 21 to remain atop the NFC East!

This weekend's installment of "Did you KNow" is dedicated to my favorite researcher Jennifer Lynn over at skurdycat.com. If you get a chance, go give her a visit. She's a very interesting young woman. Oh, and tell her Buzz sent ya.

Chrysler built B-29's that bombed Japan, Mitsubishi built Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant call Diamond Star.

The top three cork-producing countries are Spain, Portugal and
Algeria. Cork comes from trees.

New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and the late M*A*S*H star McLean Stevenson were both once assistant football coaches at Northwestern University.

On the new one hundred dollar bill the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.

The letter W is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't have 1 syllable; it has three.

All swans and all sturgeons in England are property of the Queen.

October 4, 1957 is the day both "Leave it to Beaver" and the Russian satellite Sputnik 1 were launched.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy's last name is Gail. It is shown on the mail box.

QANTAS, the name of the Australian national airline, is an acronym for Queensland And Northern Territories Air Service.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

The first video ever played on MTV Europe was "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits.

Only two people signed the Decleration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 year later.

If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050

The "Grinch" singer and voice of Tony the Tiger is a charming man named Thurl Ravenscroft.

The famous split-fingered Vulcan salute is actually intended to represent the first letter ("shin," pronounced "sheen") of the word "shalom." As a small boy, Leonard Nimoy observed his rabbi using it in a benediction and never forgot it; eventually he was able to add it to "Star Trek" lore.

The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

With a flurry of guest-posting, everyone's favorite blogger Buzz has allowed me, his step-son Chris, to make a post on this prestigious site.

I'd like to take this time to thank the acad-

Oh, wait. No, this isn't an acceptance speech. Sometimes I get confused in my old age... But with age comes wisdom, specifically the wisdom to know when not to use your own words. So I bestow upon all ye who read, a high quality poem by none other than e.e. cummings, "anyone lived in a pretty how town". cummings was, of course, the first person to make it cool to not use capitals when writing. Now, it seems, that's the M.O. of every teenager who wants to release angst with poetry or talk online. I guess there's just something to be said for the original; I never really liked sequels much anyway.

anyone lived in a pretty how town
by e.e. cummings

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

It amazes me just how strange people are. How strange some people CHOOSE to be.

I was driving back home from the store this morning and saw this fella riding his bike. He was wearing what looked like to be a blue skin diver's suit. On top of this he was wearing black and red bike pants. He had on a white t-shirt cut off at the midriff that said "I'm with Stupid" and had an arrow pointing up (I didn't doubt him). And to top everything off (literally), he was wearing a bike helmet with some sort of moving contraption on it. I could only assume that it was some sort of weather system or possibly a missile guidance system.

As if all this wasn't bad enough, he was in what appeared to be 1st gear on his 10 speed bike. He was peddling furiously and travelling between 1 and 1.1 miles per hour. On a flat smooth road.

Now you can't tell me that he didn't know that he looked, and was acting, strange. He CHOSE that for himself. I just don't get it.

Oh well. I guess it takes all types. He probably thought that I looked weird.

I've decided to offer myself up. That's right, I'm selling out, kids. I'm tired of having to work for a living so I've decided to offer myself up to sponsors. You know, like NASCAR.

I will wear the jacket with my major sponsor's patch on the back and all my little minor sponsors all over the front. I'll wear the hat. I'll put patches on my ass (well, not MY ass per se, my jean's ass). Hell, I'll even paint the ol' Subaru. I'll be #11 or maybe #22. I don't know. The number is still up in the air.

I can walk around the mall with all my gear on. I'll just make myself visible for folks to see. I'll become quite the celebrity, I would imagine. "Hey look! Here come's that guy who's all, like, sponsored and shit", they'll say. I'll smile. I'll wave. And people will buy my products. Oh yes. They will buy my products.

So whaddya say Glennfiddich? Or maybe you, Romana Sambuca? Or perhaps you, MovableType or Blogomania! Let's take a chance. Let's blaze new territory. Let's be bolder than we've dared be before.

Let's get me out of working for a living.

And the march begins! So far this season, no one has scored a single goal against the Flyers! That's pretty good.

Ummm, maybe it was just cold, fellas.

BANJUL (Reuters) - A 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia on Thursday, police said.
A police spokesman told Reuters that Baba Jallow was killed by about 10 people in the town of Serekunda, nine miles from the capital Banjul.

Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, with purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in order to extort cash in the promise of a cure.

The police spokesman said many men in Serekunda were now afraid to shake hands, and he urged people not to believe reports of "vanishing" genitals. Belief in sorcery is widespread in West Africa.

Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997.

Not sure why, but this story just makes me smile. I guess I see a lot of potential here. I love Will Ferrell and I loved Bewitched as a lad. Could be fun.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - "Old School" star Will Ferrell has landed the coveted role of Darrin in a feature remake of "Bewitched."

The Columbia Pictures project, which is expected to star Nicole Kidman in the lead role of Samantha, is being directed by Nora Ephron ("You've Got Mail").

Ferrell has been busy of late, with starring turns in the upcoming New Line comedy "Elf" and the DreamWorks comedy "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy."

Ok, when is enough enough??!! First there was the single-edged razor. You remember them, right? Your Dad used it. Next came two blades. Ooh! Two blades. It must be twice as good!

Then, I remember a commercial on SNL lampooning razor commercials. The tagline was “Three blades! Because you’ll buy anything!”

Well, before you know it, BAM! Three blades! Wow! Three blades AND a lubricating strip. WooHoo!! It can’t get better than this, right?

Well, they did it. They are now selling a razor with four freakin’ blades. And it must work, because they show a little cartoon of each blade pulling out the hair a little bit more each time and that fourth blade really gets it down to the nub.

Four blades. With TWO lubricating strips. You’re kidding me, right?

It makes you wonder where it will all end. If four, why not five? Why not ten? Maybe a full face 200 blade razor is around the corner. You just press it to your face and WHAMMO! Hairless! Baby-butt smooth! Just like that!

Man! You just gotta love technology, eh?

Top o' the mornin' to ya, BlogWorld! Hope your Friday is totally faboo!

Some of my best conversations with KathyHowe are when I'm not even there.

Exhibit A:

khowedotcom: buzzy!
khowedotcom: *ahem*
khowedotcom: i said BUZZY!
khowedotcom: oh fer the love of pete. i thought i trained you on the away message technology that AOL spent too much money scoping out and building for us.
khowedotcom: *whistles*
khowedotcom: (not one of those cat call whistles tho. more like whistling for a cab)
khowedotcom: empress?
khowedotcom: well what in the heck are you doing that is more important than tending to yer AIM.
khowedotcom: are you taking care of that golf ball mailbox...once and for all?
khowedotcom: making me pudding?
khowedotcom: burning more happy CDs?
khowedotcom: reading my blogs.
khowedotcom: it better be that last one.
khowedotcom: *winks*
khowedotcom: huh.
khowedotcom: i'm guessing you really aren't here.
khowedotcom: all this is far too irresistable (sp) to not reply.
khowedotcom: right?
khowedotcom: right?
khowedotcom: right?
khowedotcom: good...no answer.
khowedotcom: just what i was hoping for.
khowedotcom: so the weather is great here.
khowedotcom: i'm sure you were wondering.
khowedotcom: busy mom watched the weather channel today. you should read her post about it...rather amusing if i do say so myself.
khowedotcom: good thing i'm not bleeding to death and calling out for help.
khowedotcom: i'd be a goner for sure.
khowedotcom: your cats are probably looking at this thing flashing on the task bar thinking 'blame this on the dog.'
khowedotcom: 'we didn't break it...it was fido over there in the corner.'
khowedotcom: this is just great. i'm on AIM once a month and this is the big woohoo kathy is on AIM welcome that i get.
khowedotcom: good thing my ego is already two sizes too big.
khowedotcom: i might be a little crushed by all this non-attention.
khowedotcom: did you know i'm wrecking natalieville for a week?
khowedotcom: I know...looks like you and the empress got the keys too. i vote we toss a kook aid party tomorrow. it is friday after all.
khowedotcom: of course i'm in meetings all day.
khowedotcom: you'lll have to celebrate without me.
khowedotcom: damn work interfering with my kookaid parties...it just ain't right.
khowedotcom: ok.
khowedotcom: i'm gonna get some work done now.
khowedotcom: this was fun.
khowedotcom: thanks for the chat.
khowedotcom: ttyl!
khowedotcom signed off at 10:23:34 PM.

Unbelievable! You guys really rocked my socks with your 'Blog It Forward Day' activities. I could feel the love all the way over here.

There was a downside, however.

As I traveled around the sphere trying to keep up with all of the linking, I found some fantastic sites. A lot of fantastic sites. WAY TOO MANY fantastic sites! So, now I have no hope of keeping up. I was already struggling.

Oh well, I'll just keep trying as best I can.

Thank you all so much for playing along. You're the best!

Oh my god! I totally forgot to mention the last two CDs that I got for the Quintessential Burn CD Swap that Brian ran for us.

**Hold on**

Crap! I was just getting ready to tell you all how forgetful I can be, when Pat says "I smell burning". So I ran into the kitchen and, yep, sure enough, I had forgotten to turn down the stove and I charred dinner! Beyond recognition! Damnit! It really makes the title of this post pretty ironic, eh?

Ok, so anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, CDs. My last two CDs that I got were from Srah over at www.srah.net and from our favorite pixie, Cornelia.

Both great! A lot of great songs on both of these discs! Thanks guys. When we do this again, I would consider myself lucky to have you both on my team again.

UPDATE: My friend Sarah from smgweb also sent me a terrific disc. Sorry I didn't mention you in this post, honey. You sent yours to me so fast that I thought that I had posted about you all by yourself. If I didn't, a thousand apologies. All of the discs that I got were really great. Can't wait to do it again!

I saw another article this morning about Johnny Cash. It got me a'thinkin'...

Of course we all hate it when our favorite entertainers die, but it seems to be all the worse when it is a tragic or untimely death. I always feel like I’ve been cheated! The Buddy Holly/Big Bopper/Richie Valens airplane crash is the first one that pops into my mind, but there are other less known ones that piss me off just as much. Here's just a few.

• Sandy Denny – Wonderful folksinger who was a real cornerstone in the singer-songwriter phenomenon that was to follow. She died at the age of 31 when she suffered a brain hemorrhage after falling down the stairs.

• Stan Rogers – Deep voiced singer-songwriter from Canada. Just wonderful. He sang a lot of sea-shanty type songs and songs about the plight of the common man. He died when a fire started in the restroom on Air Canada flight 797. It was forced to land in the Greater Cincinnati Airport. Rogers was one of 23 people who died of smoke inhalation. He was 33.

• Kirsty MacColl – Tremendous wit and wisdom in her songs. She was beginning to expand into music with a Brazilian flair. Great stuff. She was killed at the age of 41 by a motorboat while scuba diving with her two teenage sons. They were on vacation.

Sad deaths, these.

(Sorry about the downer post. I'll try to be more upbeat on my next one.)

My buddy John over at Fishtales went on vacation and left me the keys to his site. I've decided to post all the jokes (clean, of course) that are just too awful for my site over there. Ha! That'll teach him. So if you've got any bad jokes you'd like me to post over there, feel free to email them to me. Even if you don't, stop on by occasionally. I'd love the company.

Part of the beauty of getting older is the freedom that you have to express opinions, regardless of how uncool they may be. If I say something uncool and someone calls me on it, I can just sit back and laugh. I am unphased by cool/uncool. I’m old enough now that I can just be me, “warts and all”.

That said, I can finally admit something to the world that I couldn’t when I was younger. Here goes:

I love Neil Diamond music.

Whew. There! I said it. I love Neil Diamond music. I could listen to it every day. Put Hot August Night on the stereo and I am in hog heaven. When I was much younger, I actually had several ND albums which I traded with my mom for another uncool group (at the time anyway), Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. I gave her all of my ND albums. She gave me all her HATB albums.

I still love Herb and the boys but I wish I had those old Neil Diamond albums, too. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about picking them up on CD.

My all-time favorite Neil Diamond songs (in no particular order) are:

Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
I Am...I Said
Holly Holy
Crunchy Granola Suite
Cracklin' Rosie
Solitary Man
Sweet Caroline

Ok, I guess it's my turn to pony up my links for 'Blog It Forward Day'. This was harder than I thought, as there are SO MANY great reads on my blogroll. For today's exercise, however, I will keep it to three relatively new finds.

Rachel from It's All About Me is a great new find for me. She's from Alaska and has a lot of interesting things to say. She's really nice and I'm sure she would love a visit from all of you.

A lot of you are starting to get to know Alexia over at crittersmom.net. She was such a blast at our BucaChat and really does a nice job on her site. Go show her some lovin and tell her Buzz sentcha.

And last but not least, I want to send out a shout to Valley over at Valley Views. She is the wife of my buddy Buddha (poor thing) and she is a real pistol. Damn good pool player, too. She's brand spankin' new at this whole blogging thing, so if you've got a minute or two, go over and give her a fine how-do-you-do.

That's it for now. I wish I could mention everyone here, but time and space just wouldn't permit it. You all know I love you anyway! So get out there and spread some blog love if you haven't already. Make someone feel special. You never know when you might find your own name mentioned on someone's site.

Peace.

You know how good you feel when you stumble onto another person's site and see your name mentioned? I know I do.

And you know how, sometimes, it's nice to have an easy post? Something you didn't have to rack your brain for?

Well, today we're going to kill two birds with one stone. Welcome to Buzz's...

"Blog it Forward Day"!

Your task today will be to pick someone off of your blogroll (or bloglines, linklist, bloglink, etc) and post a little something about them on your site. Tell us why they are on your list. What makes them link-worthy? Perhaps you'd like to spotlight someone on your list that isn't getting the attention that you think they should. Maybe it's someone who has made a difference in your life. Maybe it's someone who just puts a smile on your face every day.

Whatever the reason, let us all know about it. There's enough drama out here in the sphere. Let's share a little linky-love. Just takes two minutes.

So, whaddya say? You up for it?

How’s the state of your blog? Not the whole sphere, just your little corner of it. Has your site turned out the way you imagined? Are you representing yourself the way you had hoped? Is your site funnier, sadder, deeper than you originally thought it would be?

Believe it or not, when I very very first started a “blog”, I was actually using it to track the setting up, and subsequent changes of, a salt water aquarium. I thought if I had everything written down, I would be able to see what went right and what went wrong. Unfortunately, I grew tired of that site quickly. That particular fishtank is also long gone (don’t ask!).

When I started Buzzstuff.net, I really didn’t know what I was going to do with the site. In looking back over my old posts, it seems that I never did decide. I guess the site is mostly just me babbling. I see that I have avoided politics, religion, abortion, whale’s rights and pretty much anything else controversial. I’m A-OK with that.

I’ve put out stuff that I thought was funny and stuff I thought was sad, but overall, I have tried to keep it a fun atmosphere. An easy place to visit. There's enough drama out in the real world.

*The Bonus* I’ve “met” a lot more fun, interesting, caring people than I ever imagined that I would. That aspect of this whole thing was totally unexpected. The fact that anyone reads this site at all is pretty astounding to me, actually. But some people do and I truly appreciate it.

So anyway, tell me. How’s your site going?

I'm definitely in the wrong line of work. I need to get some kind of a grant for this kind of cutting edge research!

LONDON (Reuters) - A British scientist has calculated the optimum thickness for a slice of cheese to make the perfect cheese sandwich, according to a study published on Monday.

In a bite-sized sandwich using pre-sliced white bread lightly buttered with margarine, a slice of cheddar needs to be at least 2.8 mm thick, the study found.

Dr Len Fisher from Bristol University was commissioned by the British Cheese Board to work out how to maximize the "cheesy" aroma in a sandwich.

"After a certain thickness, no increased amount of cheese will increase the 'cheesy aroma' impact of the sandwich," said Fisher.

Tests done on the contribution of tomato and pickle found that tomatoes boosted the cheesiness flavor whereas pickles did not.

(Cassie-B, you may not want to read this)

I am thinking back to some of my childhood activities and it occurs to me that birth is not The Miracle. The Miracle is that any of us survive to adulthood.

I remember going to visit my friend John Richardson when I was, well, let’s see, I was living in Goose Creek, SC at the time so I guess I was about 15 or 16 years old. John lived at the Naval Weapons Station which was at the end of a very long road with very few turnoffs. As I walked this road to his house from school, oftentimes the ol’ thumb would go out and I would hitch a ride. If it was raining, I put on my ‘poor poor pitiful me’ face and I always got a ride from some sympathetic soul.

I was never kidnapped or fondled or propositioned or anything bad. Ever. It’s a Miracle that none of that stuff happened.

I remember, at an earlier age, climbing on top of garages behind our Navy Housing rowhomes and ripping off the asphalt shingles and flinging them at one another. Oh, what fun to watch those shingles dance through the air like bats! Why, you never knew where they were going to go.

I never had my eye put out or even a cut from those shingles. And neither did any of my friends. It’s a Miracle no one was killed.

I remember sneaking over the fence into the local reservoir as a kid and finding a boat in the weeds. It was old and decrepit but it floated, sorta. Well two of us got in the boat and two would stay on shore. Once we got out a good distance, we would start shooting our BB guns at each other. Of course, one of the boat people would have to bail every once in a while, but that was all part of the fun.

I never drowned or got hit in the eye with a BB. And neither did any of my friends. It’s a Miracle that we all survived.

It makes me wonder what kind of things my own kids have done without my knowledge. I’m sure that I’m better off not knowing,

I just hope that they keep having The Miracle occur.

Some of you may know that Pat and I have a small room in our house with wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and two overstuffed leather rocker recliners. We love this room.

Well, it just got better.

Pat hooked up our long ignored turntable in that room. For those of you too young to remember, people actually used to listen to music on vinyl. With a needle.

So now we can sit in there with our whiskeys and our cats, reading a favorite book or thumbing through a magazine, listening to some of our favorite old albums. There is something warm and comforting about the light scratching sounds that you get from an album. It’s hard to explain but it makes me feel at peace with the world. I don’t even know why. I was sitting in there yesterday, listening to my old ‘Harvest’ album by Neil Young and I felt like I hadn’t a care in the world.

Wonderful, really.

I just want to let all you SE Pennsylvania folks know what a wonderful thing I have done for you. I have practically guaranteed a snowless winter. "How's that, Buzz?", I can hear you all asking excitedly. Well, quite simply, actually. You see, The Empress and I went out to Home Depot yesterday and bought ourselves a big ol' honkin' snow blower. Mean old Mother Nature hammered us last year and we nearly died trying to shovel ourselves out. So the mere purchase of this equipment probably means it won't snow significantly again for 10 years.

You're welcome.

Dallas Cowboys are now 3 -1. If the Redskins lose today, Dallas will be in first place.

It's still hard to believe.

No, I'm not crying! I have something in my eye, that's all.

We just signed up for the free trial month of NetFlix. Anyone else using this service? Any bad experiences out there? Any good ones?

From my pal Billy:

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Hey, you know what the date is today?

It's 10-4, good buddy!

Hahahahahahaha!! Hahaha!!

Huh? Whassat? Shutup, man! They can't all be gems!

I was looking at my blogroll and noticed how diverse it is (yours is probably the same). It's interesting what strange bedfellows we create in our blogrolls, don'tcha think?

I mean, I've got right-wing and I've got left-wing. I've got catholic, protestant, jew, atheist and god knows what else. I've got PeteBeck for crying out loud! (Just kiddin' with ya, buddy.) For all I know I may even have Ginger folks out there right alongside the Mary-Annes. Terrifying, I tell ya! I've got some Stay At Home Moms as well as some real workaholic-never-come-home-till-late folks. I've got people who love sports and people that hate them (hi Zoofy!). Soft rock, hard rock. Some of you love scary movies and some of you avoid them like the plague.

There's probably people on my blogroll who would never dream of being in the same room as each other and yet there they are. Sometimes snuggled one atop the other. Awww, ain't they cute.

So take a look at your blogroll. See any interesting combinations there? I'll bet you do.

I just got this from my buddy Bill P. I don't know if it's legit or not. It looks real but you never know.

The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland.
She is 7'4" and weighs 320 pounds.

Now, before you look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 looks like............

Got it?

Ready?

Here goes................

This is definitely NOT a good way to go!

ADDIS ABABA (Reuters) - An enraged Ethiopian mother of five will be tried for the murder of her husband who died after she crushed his testicles in a fight, police told the state-run Ethiopian News Agency.

Police said on Friday the man was so embarrassed after the incident that he declined to seek treatment for the injury, and died days later.

"Following a disagreement over the husband's spending habits, his wife refused to give him his dinner and also decided to sleep alone," police in the western region of Wellega said.

"The husband was so angered by this affront by his wife that he tried to beat her. In the melee that followed, the wife grabbed and twisted his testicles causing serious damage."

Police said the unnamed woman, a resident of Wayu-Tuka district in Wellega, had had several arguments with her husband about the amount of money he spent on booze.

I had a dream last night about a blogger that I've never met before. This is the third (I believe) dream about a blogger or bloggers that I've had since I started doing this. Don't you think it's kind of weird? And the weird thing about this one is that it was about a blogger that I barely know. I've never seen her before and we have only talked (via e-mail) once or twice. Oh, and the dream wasn't actually about her, she was just one of the players in the dream. It was all very casual.

Odd.

Is there anything funner than mud-slinging political commercials?

No, I mean besides bamboo shoots under the fingernails.

The best (and worst) thing about being 'on the wagon' is the complete lack of drunken posts.

Not to fear, kiddies. Uncle Buzz will be boozing again soon enough. Just taking a little detoxification break.

Oh, and I still love you all. Even when I'm sober.

Have you ever staggered sleepily into the shower in the morning and then halfway through the shower realize that you can't remember if you washed your hair already?

You haven't?

Oh. Well then, me neither.

So ABC/ESPN hires Rush Limbaugh to stir things up on their sportscast and then is in shock when he says something controversial?

Hmmm. Isn't that what he always does? Isn't that the exact reason they hired him?

Let's have a show of hands to see everyone who is surprised at this outcome.

*crickets*

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Worked hard at the office, came home and had a dee-lish dinner (that we both cooked) while we listened to homemade mix tapes (CDs actually), then sat on the couch together and watched Benny & Joon.

We'll call that a successful evening, eh?

Ever wonder about that CTRL-ALT-DELETE move and where it came from? You did? Well, it's lucky you came by then. Here you go.

Thank this guy for ‘control-alt-delete’
By Abe Aamidor
The Indianapolis Star

Every time a software program locks up and you want to start over, every time you need to change your password or log on or off your computer, you can thank David J. Bradley.

That's the same David Bradley who was the "answer" to Final Jeopardy on an episode of that show's special college edition last fall.

It's the same David Bradley who saved Bill Gates' derriere before the Windows operating system became the monster it is today.

Bradley is the man who gave the world "control-alt-delete."

"It was not a memorable event," said Bradley, a longtime IBM employee, speaking of that day in 1980 or '81 when he discovered control-alt-delete.

"It wasn't intended as something we were going to tell the customers about," he says. "Then it turned out that this reset was a problem-solver for people who were writing the programs and writing the instruction manuals."

He's much too modest. Would Alexander Fleming have said, "It wasn't a memorable event," when he discovered penicillin?

Would Albert Einstein have said, "I really can't recall when I discovered E=MC squared?"

The original idea was simply to reset early PCs without turning them off. Microsoft adopted control-alt-delete to help ensure people powered down correctly, then to handle "administrative functions" such as the vital "end task" feature for computer software that crashes or otherwise gets stuck.

Bradley chose the control and alt keys because he needed two shift keys to make the operation work, and he chose the delete key because it was on the opposite side of the keyboard. He didn't want people to hit control-alt-delete by accident.

It's more complicated than that, of course, but most people don't have a Ph.D. in electrical engineering from Purdue University, as Bradley does.

Bradley, who speaks at universities on IBM's behalf, is on a mission — to encourage more students to go into science and technology. He's aware that much of the growth in college attendance in recent decades is in the humanities.

"I actually have a real job, but I enjoy doing this," Bradley says. "I'm as close as you get to a rock star within IBM."

Bradley says the "strength of the country" is at stake because relatively few students go into science or technology. Further, he says, ordinary citizens need to understand science and technology better to make informed choices in the voting booth.

How is it that every day seems to drag and yet this year is flying by?

I'm a pretty simple guy. You ask me what toothpaste I prefer, I'll probably tell you "You know. Toothpaste. Regular." That evidently is not a very good answer.

I went to the grocery store the other day and on my list was 'toothpaste'. Easy enough, I thought naïvely. So I find the toothpaste section (no easy task at the store I went to) and what to my wondering eyes did appear? A variety of toothpastes that filled me with fear. First there were the brands:

AquafreshColgateArm&HammerCrestListerineCloseup
MentadentUltraBriteSensodyne and Rembrandt.

Then, once you battled through that mess, there were different types of each brand:

ExtraWhiteningDualActionWhiteningRejuvenatingEffects
WhiteningPlusScopeSensitivityProtection
CavityProtectionTarterControl.

Then if you can possibly decide amongst those, you need to figure out the texture that you want:

CoolMintStripeGelCoolMintStripePasteBubbleFunPaste
SparkleFunGelStripedGelStripedPaste.

After about 90 minutes of staring at this impressive array of dental hygiene, I chose: Crest Tarter Control Regular Paste.

It was about as close as I could come to "You know. Toothpaste. Regular."