Found in my inbox this morning:

SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP....

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead
of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those
%&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex
jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes
anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car
payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead
of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM
would severely upset, rather than settle, your
stomach.

19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store
for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty
good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast
time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
"I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a
computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before
going to a bar. Can I get an amen!

25. You read this entire list looking desperately
for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't
find one to save your sorry old butt. Then, you
forward it to a bunch of pals because you know
you're not the only one getting old!!

Posted by Buzz at May 4, 2005 08:16 AM