Well, 'tis the season, as they say, and the time has come to clear the air. To state the obvious. To get a load off. To...well, you get the idea. Anyway, I'm here today to talk about Christmas music. There are certain rules that are just getting completely ignored and it's starting to really get my dander up!
For example, there are certain songs that should only be sung by one particular person. Those include (but are not limited to):
A Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
White Christmas - Bing Crosby
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Gene Autry
My Favorite Things - Andy Williams
Christmas Don't Be Late - The Chipmunks
All other "famous" Christmas songs should be sung by Johnny Mathis or The Carpenters. In addition to this, the songs "Silent Night, Holy Night" and "The Twelve Days of Christmas" should be retired and never EVER sung again in public. These are horrid songs! These are the kinds of songs that can send you to the kitchen looking for those really sharp knives!
Also, if you are in a boy band, please resist the temptation to put out a Christmas album. It hurts. No, seriously, you're killing me. The same holds true if you are an aging rock band. I truly do not want to hear 'O Holy Night' done up good by the Rolling Stones. No offense.
Some exceptions to these rules are country music singers. These folks seem to have a knack for holiday music. I don't know why, but I'm sure that a major university near you is researching the hell out of the phenomena. I'll let you know what they find out.
And last, but certainly not least, if you are a famous singer and you feel that you simply must redo a classic Christmas carol, please please please sing it right. Hearing you do your jazzed up rendition of 'Frosty the Snowman' is making me puke up holly berries! Look, just because you have a voice that can hit notes high enough to shatter concrete doesn't mean that you should subject us to it! We're only human, you know. And for god's sake, get the speed right. Try to remember that a lot of us are in our cars trying to sing along. Too fast or too slow just makes us look and feel silly.
Well, that's about it. Simple, easy to follow rules for Christmas songs. If people would just stick to them, we'd all be much happier. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go. See, outside the snow is falling and friends are calling "yoo hoo".
Hope you all have a happy holiday season!!
Barbra Streisand + JINGLE BELLS = slow agonizing death!
Posted by: jjjjb at November 30, 2004 08:23 AMI hear ya BUZZ, Santa Claus is coming to town should only be done by Bruce. You know the wind wiping down the boardwalk and stuff.
Clarence practicing real hard so Santa will bring him a new saxophone.
There are two kinds of people in the world those who like Bruce and those who never saw him in concert.
Posted by: MIKE at November 30, 2004 08:52 AMAs a kid, we had all the Chipmunks albums, including both Christmas volumes. Grandpa had a decent stereo, and loved to play them and watch us laugh.
I like your rules, Buzz. But, I'll put up my own very favorite holiday song, and you can come over to my place and enjoy it.
Happy Holidays!!
I love Eartha Kitts version of "Santa Baby"
And, Louis Armstrong doing "Zat You Santa Claus"
they should be on the list too
Ah, but Jingle Bells by Barenaked Ladies, which actually includes the often overlooked "Batman smells" verse, is destined to become a classic right up there with Nat's Christmas Song!
Posted by: annie at November 30, 2004 09:17 AMBing rules...he and Christmas just go together.
Posted by: debby at November 30, 2004 09:30 AMYou hoo, Buzz! " 'Zat you, Santa Claus?" by Louis Armstrong & The Commanders is one of those songs that should only be sung by Louie and no one else.
My most HATED Christmas song besides "The 12 Days of Christmas?" "The Little Drummer Boy." It's boring and drawn-out and depressing. I don't think I've EVER heard a good version of it. (Not even by a country singer!)
Posted by: MJ at November 30, 2004 09:55 AMI don't think anyone should EVER do Feliz Navidad. Someone must have gotten drunk and thought saying Merry Christmas over and over for three minutes was a good idea.
Posted by: razz at November 30, 2004 10:26 AMCan we add "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer" to the list of the banned. For that matter anything by Elmo and Patsy must go!
Posted by: Jeff A at November 30, 2004 10:43 AMO Holy Night i smy absolute favourite Christmas Carol song either by Vince Gill or Michael Burgess!
Posted by: Kim at November 30, 2004 10:44 AMi say add Tony Bennett to your list of singers that are allowed to cover christmas classics -- but that's it!
Erin has a CD that she insists on playing each year at this time that's of Kenny G. doing nothing but x-mas covers. 70 minutes of ear bleeding audio. and people wonder why the suicide rate rises in December? it's Kenny G folks, plain and simple.
Posted by: P at November 30, 2004 11:08 AMI second the Eartha Kitt- Santa Baby nomination. Madonna should be burned at the stake for attempting to sing this song.
Not that I have any strong feelings on the matter...
I love 'Baby It's Cold Outside' with Doris Day and Dean Martin, too..
Posted by: lucy at November 30, 2004 02:52 PMthe ronette's: rockin' around the christmas tree
Posted by: melina at November 30, 2004 03:29 PMI have the Christmas Carols done by Duck Scrooge. GEESH If I have to put that in the tape player one more time before Christmas it will be too soon!!!!!!!!! (the kids love it!)
Posted by: Hula Doula at November 30, 2004 08:38 PMYa know, as a kid, I adored the Chipmunks' Please Christmas, Don't Be Late. I played it over and over and over. And over. I think I wore the vinyl out. And now, my kids like it. It's pennance time.
On the flip side, I have Christmas Cocktails to reinvigorate me.
Posted by: Mellie Helen at November 30, 2004 10:02 PMI just came across this on the net, and thought you might appreciate its addition to your Christmas Songs collection. Or, er, maybe not.
Posted by: Mellie Helen at November 30, 2004 11:10 PMI heard dogs barking out the tune to Jingles Bells on the radio yesterday; that is just plain wrong.
Posted by: fran at December 1, 2004 06:33 AMThe girls have the Beach Boys' Ultimate Christmas----without a doubt their favorite Xmas cd. The worst of the worst? Santa's Got An Airplane. "Loopdeloop flipflop Santa's got an airplane..." Fortunately the cd seems to be missing from its case...
Posted by: rosemoon at December 1, 2004 06:53 AMWe have already broken out the Buzz 2003 Christmas Mix here. I want a hippopotamous for Christmas...
Posted by: Busy Mom at December 1, 2004 09:42 AMI agree with you wholeheartedly, except that watching my 3 year old sing Silent Night is pretty heartwarming.
My IL gave me as a gift a few years ago a 3 CD set of John Tesh Christmas covers AND THEN MADE ME LISTEN TO ALL OF THEM. They don't like me much.
Posted by: Chelle at December 1, 2004 10:38 AMOkay, but I am actually looking forward to hearing the new Hallmark James Taylor CD of holiday hits....wait! Did I miss it? Is it gone already???? oh geez...
Posted by: kath at December 1, 2004 11:23 AMFor me, the Christmas season doesn't officially start until I hear Bruce and the E-Streeters singing "SCICTT". Clarence does a GREAT Santa Clause.
I also look forward to...
Waitresses......Christmas Rapping
The Kinks........Father Christmas
Thorogood......Rock and Roll Christmas
The BoDeans...Jinga Bell Rock
Alan Mann.......Christmas on the Block
(Don't know how well-known this is outside of Philly)
Bing & Bowie...Little Drummer Boy
(Not boring at all, even to this rocker. This is a GREAT version of the song.)
By the way all, the wind is whipping down the boardwalk, not wiping it down.
Posted by: Willie's Buddy Jimmy at December 1, 2004 12:45 PMMy favorite Christmas album is Twisted Christmas and my favorite song I'm not sure of the name, but I think it's There's something stuck up in the Chimney.
Posted by: cindy at December 1, 2004 12:50 PMHave to admit when I hear Celine Dion sing "Ave Maria," I dang near bawl and I really like Hanson's X-mas CD! (Don't be hatin'!)
Posted by: Nanc' at December 1, 2004 10:51 PMI love your Christmas song list! Although... it's been a long long time since I've heard the Chipmunks.
My grandparents had a Chipmunk album. They would play it for us at Thanksgiving. Ah... memories...
Posted by: Toni at December 2, 2004 10:09 AMI'm very old-school in my Christmas music preferences. Anything by Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis, Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, Mitch Miller or the Ray Conniff Singers is OK in my book. After all, even though that's not the music of my generation, it is the holiday music I grew up with...
And now for my pet peeve. I think there should be a ban on "The Christmas Shoes." Yes, I know it's a deeply moving song, and we should keep in mind that not everyone's Christmases are bright. But it's a little *too* moving. Last year I was at a holiday gathering, and that song came on the radio, and a couple of people simply burst into tears. But after that, perhaps to try to lighten up the mood, they played "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."
Posted by: Brian at December 6, 2004 01:34 PM
-d: How do you feel about being Governor of Indiana?
[Buzz it]
Global Warming, my ass!
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