April 05, 2004
Shaken, not stirred.

Just got this in an e-mail from my friend Jean:

The Wonders of Vodka....................

Who would have thunk it??

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth
dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziploc freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes..

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter. Mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.

12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.

13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.

14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.

15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that is causing pain in your ear.

16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

19. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

20. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

21. If all else fails, just turn the bottle up and drink it, nothing will matter anymore anyway!

Posted by Buzz at April 5, 2004 09:46 AM
Comments

But, I always thought fine aged single-malt Scotch whisky was the cure to everything?

Posted by: keith at April 5, 2004 09:52 AM

With regards to number 5, does that still apply if the vomit stain already contains copious amounts of vodka?

And could you answer quickly? It's starting to dry.

Posted by: M at April 5, 2004 09:55 AM

I knew there was a reason that I loved Vodka so much!

Posted by: Ash at April 5, 2004 10:29 AM

Why would you waste good vodka when good ol' rubbing alcohol will do? I mean really.

Posted by: kat writing from the roomie's computer with the big honkin' screen at April 5, 2004 11:13 AM

I agree with kat. i'd rather drink the stuff.

Posted by: Baby at April 5, 2004 11:18 AM

I like #21 the best. :)

Posted by: GC at April 5, 2004 11:26 AM

One day to late. I had 3 big bandges to take off and I would have tried the Vodka thing, because they hurt like a b*#%# when we pulled them off.

Posted by: Tom at April 5, 2004 12:15 PM

I'll go with 21. Mmmmm....gimlet....

Posted by: Kim at April 5, 2004 12:17 PM

Hi ya, BuzzSaw. Regarding #4, if one decides to drink the vodka, don't forget to take the razor blades out first.

Posted by: Colin at April 5, 2004 12:36 PM

with #8, the vodka doesn't actually kill the bees or wasps. it just makes them too drunk to fly. so that way they roll around in the gutter, throwing up pollen, until the bee police show up and take 'em away.

and that Shag picture is great! i've had a larger version of it as my desktop image this past month.

Posted by: P at April 5, 2004 01:30 PM

Hmmm. I wonder how long this will take to get to the MythBusters (LOVE that show!)? They've already debunked the infamous things you can do with Coca-Cola, I wonder if this will be nipped in the bud as well.

MMMM... a nice ice cold vodka martini... MMMM

:homer drool:

Posted by: Dave at April 5, 2004 02:04 PM

~kettle one can cure just about anything~

Posted by: btezra at April 5, 2004 03:07 PM

mmmmmmmmmm vodka. Give me some lime and some cranberry juice and it will be a good day :)

Posted by: jess at April 5, 2004 03:14 PM

OMG those are great! I think we should all take a number and test it out...I'll try 21.

Posted by: JenBen at April 5, 2004 03:36 PM

It sounds as if you should carry a bottle with you wherever you go.

Posted by: cassie-b at April 5, 2004 04:06 PM

Gee, I was wondering when someone would step in to fill Martha's shoes! It's a good thing.

What will we learn next week, Buzz? ;)

Posted by: Erin at April 5, 2004 05:58 PM

Ok I really need a vacation after this weekend.... I swore it said " The wonders of Wonka" and read the first few thinking huh? WTF......

After clarifcication though sounds like a challenge for Myth Busters too see what actually works!

Posted by: Wyllow at April 5, 2004 06:10 PM

What a coincedence, Dom's off to Russia this weekend, it's only $1.50 a bottle over there..........

Posted by: Anji at April 6, 2004 02:55 AM

I have been wondering how to get those dern vomit stains out...

Posted by: Tiff at April 12, 2004 01:18 AM
My wish list.

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